a better amaris 3.0

i recently joined a gym. i've even gone as far as hiring a personal trainer. busting my ass with strength training and cardio, etc. i know that i will never ever be tiny and that's beyond cool, but i wouldn't mind fitting into my favorite pair of jeans again. actually, i've forbade myself from purchasing jeans until i reach my goal. in the meantime it looks like leggings for me!

about a year and i half ago i fell in love with these CRAZY gold leggings at target, but for some reason never bought them? :(



then one day i was perusing the lovely wares at b&lu (a place to find super fantastic clothes for the zaftig set) and i came upon these bad boys.

can you say kismet?

so yeah, wish me luck on my legging clad journey of wellness. i've even started eating better (cooking my own meals helps), and drinking buckets full of water everyday. is it too geeky to say that i'm excited about looking, and feeling healthier? ha ha fuck it, i'm so ready :) all the same, i'm not going to say that i am banishing pizza, beer, and cupcakes forever cuz that would be one of the filthiest lies.

p.s. i promise to wear dresses, tunics, and shirts that at least cover my bum during this time of knit leg wear. pinkie swear.

fidelity.

i've been cheating on this blog with that little tumblr minx for way too long. flaking out and stuff :( i'll be back to posting some super fun jazz soon, though. i've got so much to tell you. also, i sound like a broken record. sorry about that :)

it's magic part i.

ok. so i'm pretty much treating this thing like one of the many abandoned journals of my youth. you know what i'm talking about...the fancy leather bound one that you buy at borders, that you write like one entry in. or the 99 cent marble notebook that you intend on littering with collage magic, and it JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN. no mas! i'm going to get off my ass, and uhhh get back on my ass? ha ha something like that.

the internet is tricky, being productive (on the internet, and otherwise) is trickier. talking in circles yay! what i'm trying to say is that is that i am once again up and at 'em on the productivity tip. new home, job hunting, life changing, creating things, bright eyed and busy tailed, etc.

so yeah, expect to see more of me on here.

p.s. if the internet were a video game this guy would surely be one of it's bosses.



i can't front; dude's songs are kinda catchy and memorable :( also, much like that "lotion" video, i like pretending that he's every creepy guy that i've ever known :)

this is why my birthday (well, the night before it) will be awesome.

ok. it's been settled, i'm going to celebrate my 29th birthday in philly. i like philly, and i imagine that i'll like it even more after next saturday!

first off we have the mad decent block party.



holy shit you guys.

and then there's this hot action...



just now, on twitter, i decided that BYOB can also stand for "bring your own baked goods."

i was kidding(?)



so yeah, if you are in the philadelphia vicinity next saturday by all means come on down.

whinenoceros status.

that's how it feels sometimes.

anxiety, unanswered texts/emails, my favorite people and their lack of enthusiasm for all things amaris, worrying, my busted paw, feeling like a burden as a result of the aforementioned paw, getting annoyed by myself, pointless whining, nagging neurosis, etc. once again i need cher to come and slap me, while demanding that i "snap out of it." she should also totally lend me one of her fabulous wigs.

i'd like to think that tonight is just a hiccup, and that i will emerge tomorrow morning as fresh as a daisy. a daisy who doesn't give a fuck about that negative shit.

this felt good :)

touch sensitive-uh.

blah blah blah time for one of these. i fear that this thing is becoming like a giant myspace bulletin :(

What was your favorite candy as a kid?
red and green gummy bears.

Whats the best place to order t-shirts online?
there are cool places to procure some hot t-shirt action all over the place. i guess that karmaloop is cool because they sell shirts by wowch?



Have you ever seen the show Dead Like Me?
no.

How many clocks are in your house?
omg way to many.

Has someone ever sexually poured candle wax on you?
no?

Are you scared of Two-Legged Stools?
ha ha ha what? that's a weird question.

If you were asked to name a very common phobia, what would you say?
agoraphobia.

Can you ever be a vegan?
absolutely.

Has someone ever called you peanut?
yep.

What’s the closest pink object in your reach?
a tube of pink lipgloss.

Have you ever taken a shower, naked, with a friend?
no.

Who do you secretly, or openly, want to have sex with?
lol.

Do you have a currently celebrity crush?
sure.

Do you like nicknames that are from your name?
everyone mispronounces all of my names anyway.

Have you ever gotten into a serious bike accident?
no, surprisingly.

Have you, do you/ would you ever eat tofu?
holy shit yes.

What would you say if a Playboy Playmate walked up to you on the street naked?
i would probably laugh?

Where is most of the furniture in your house from?
all over.

When you play The Sims, do you find your self overly-decorative?
i dont play the sims.

Have you ever washed someones car to get money?
nope.

Whats a question you always wanted to see on a survey but never did?
ha ha i haven't really thought about it.

Have you ever walked in the middle of the street just to piss off people?
noooo.

Were you ever drug tested, if so, what were your results?
yes, and i was c-c-clean.

Have you ever been to a funeral?
yes.

Does your grandma know how to party?
def.

Have you ever been to Villa Roma?
no.

What do you do when someone jokingly slaps your ass?
enjoy it?

Is there a street name that you absolutely love?
bixley heath, y'all. lynbrook, long island 4 lyfe.

Has someone ever written a song about you?
an impromptu one :)

What kind of computer are you taking this survey on?
a PC.

Have you ever seen the Geek Squad car in person?
uh huh.

Have you ever taken a quiz to see how scene you are?
no i have not.

Have you ever shaved your head?
no.

Ever throw something at a fan and laughed as it flew across the room?
no, but i like talking into fans. that's HILARIOUS.

Are you Jewish?
no.

Have you ever dated someone that played drums?
ha ha i don't think so?

Would you rather use a professional camera or a digital camera?
hmmm a professional one.

Do you steal iPods from people on the bus/train?
no, but some girl GAVE me an ipod at a dance party in brooklyn.

Do you currently have have bruises on your body?
no, just mosquito bites.

Have you ever seen someone get beat up, and did something about it?
i yelled. it's scary when i yell.

Have you ever watched Queer Duck?
queer duck?! no, but i'm pretty sure that i need to!

What’s a movie that you haven’t watched in years?
the fifth element.

Have you ever eaten something you weren’t supposed to?
um yeah sure.

Have you ever had the urge to chew on a battery?
yuck.

Have you ever made plans but then decided to just sit in the house?
oh yes.

Did you have anything to drink today?
of course.

Have you ever met a really skinny boy who wished he was skinnier?
nope.

Is there an air conditioner in the room you are currently in?
yes, but it's not cold enough.

How often do you cook?
quite often.

When was the last time you cut your toenails?
a couple days ago.

Why do the majority of teens think that fake eating disorders are cool?
i don't know? if they do that's sad ha ha.

Last movie you saw:
"do you like hitchcock?" by dario argento.

First decade you remember:
80's.

Last drink you drank?
tap water.

just so you know.

oh hey. whoa i totally neglect this blog; blame tumblr. ha ha i love that site. i'd invade that site's personal space if it were a human, you know. wink wink.

ok so things have changed since my last post. i've put my job hunt on hold for the time being as i'm having corrective surgery on my right foot tomorrow. ha ha surprise! as you may or may not know i had a bad car accident about a year and change ago. reconstructive surgeries, hospital stays, and physical therapy ensued. everything has healed apart from my darn right heel. one day when i was upset and discouraged i said, "HEEL?! it certainly doesn't live up to it's name." that's a pretty awful joke. the pun never stops around these parts. but yeah, my poor right foot is crooked, and ridden with arthritis and pain. i am 28, and there is no reason for me to have arthritis yet. tomorrow i am having ankle fusion surgery. i won't explain anymore, because i don't want to psyche myself out LOL :(

needless to say, i am scared shitless you guys. ha ha! is shitless one word? i don't know? anyway, this is for the best. i'm going to be as good as new :)

i love each and every one of you. did you know that? i'm sappier than a maple tree, y'all.

p.s. here's the foot in question. feels like you know me a little better, huh?

B. E. AGRESSIVE!

what's the best nation? procrastination!

no, not really ha ha. but it is something i do quite often. i am not proud :( i even procrastinate when it comes to fun things. wtf. it's my least favorite habit, bar none.

these days i've been job hunting, apartment/roommate hunting, creating, life organizing, and attempting to lead a healthier lifestyle (see: eating better, working out). i've made strides, albeit little, passive ones. it kind of stinks, dudes. like, i want to be wildly ambitious, i want my motivation to last more than a day, i want to be awesome. i need a cheerleader, a guru, and a drill sergeant all at once. i know i can do this. i've done it before :)

i always laugh and/or cringe when people say things like: "today is the first day of the rest of my life!", but tomorrow i will be ALL OVER that action. seriously, gtfo procrastination. i'm over that wishy-washy balderdash. wish me luck!

looking like a keane painting rocks.

i have big eyes.



it's is not a new development, but i am often reminded of just how ginormous they are. i also have big boobs, but that's not what i'm getting at here. heh as usual i don't quite know what i'm getting at? i like my eyes. some have said that they are my best feature. that rules. i guess that some people like big eyes?

my self esteem is better than it's ever been. ha ha seeing as how i actually have self esteem these days. so yeah, i've decided that i would celebrate my favorite features by haphazardly writing about them, while subsequently posting pictures of other girls who have similar attributes. fortunately this will only happen on occasion :)

and now, bring on the eye balls! uh that sounded a lot worse than i wanted it too :(



masha tylna.



oh magibon lol.



blythe, duh.

any big eyed beauties that you can think of?

theatre of the MIND.

for the past few weeks or so my dreams have been drizzled in wacky sauce. my dreams are usually pretty normal and mundane. like, i get them mixed up with real life all of the time. lately it's been, um, different. dude, i couldn't make this up if i tried. instead of trying to explain these sleepy time adventures, i will indulge you with a taste. an amuse bouche of amaris' resting brain. ha ha ew that sounds gross! but yeah, some standout bits include:

* the ocean at night with actual stars in the water. it was beautiful.

* consoling a crying heath ledger by talking to him about ponds cold cream.

* having my personal space invaded by jude law.

* arguing with my boyfriend about porn. explaining to him that alt porn is better via an elaborate slide show.

* hanging from ceiling rafters with my friends in order to avoid being killed by jason. said ceiling rafters eventually turned into seats at a quiz show. jason was the host.

* running into the fat jew at cinnabon in the mall. he was really cool, and explained to me that he only peddles gooey cinnamon goodness for fun.

* turning into a big nosed teenage boy who battles laser wielding dinosaurs in the girl's bathroom.

yep, that's the kind of stuff i dream about. scout's honor.

my mom has one of those dream encyclopedias, and i really should consider giving it a look. or maybe i should see a psychic. i don't know?

l'eggs.

this is a post about my legs. i've been neglecting this blog as of late (blame my tumblr, yo). i've also been neglecting my legs. last year my right leg got hella skinny from being wrapped up in a cast for months, it was scary. it's back to it's normal size, but it could use some toning. ha ha it's just like my left leg now!



but yeah, legs. i mostly use a picture of my legs as the default photo on my myspace. you see, i'm job hunting and i don't want to be that accessible to prospective employers. not to mention my profile is, like, totally private. i don't have anything to hide of course, but blah blah blah etc. for a while the aforementioned profile was not private, and i had one of those anonymous ~*ultra mega secret box*~ apps. one person insulted me in broken enlish, questioning my creativity. one person said "hotty." and then came the leg comments. "the things i would do to those legs" and "u got nasty fat legs" were my favorite. ha ha pretty sure i know who the "nasty fat leg" comment came from :) people are so weird. i deleted the creepy ~*ultra mega secret box*~ app, and the comments stopped...until recently. just the other day i got an A+ friend request. it speaks for itself.



yeeeaaah. wtf.

don't know quite what i was getting at here, but i sure said "legs" A LOT.

why is this funny?

ha!



wow, get a life amaris XD

two facts:

1. yesterday i touched a shamwow, they feel like felt. lol.

2. right now i'm packing for a roadtrip and listening to the freak folk station on last fm. it's pretty awesome :)

ETA:

slap chop, son, SLAP CHOP.



dead,

amaris

one year.

ha ha i totally posted this blog on myspace, but i felt compelled to share it with everybody. here we go...




ok. sooo i was in a nasty (not so) little car accident one year ago today. said accident left me with a fractured left knee cap, torn tendons in my right hand, and a completely crushed right heel. after many months, two reconstructive surgeries, casts, orthopedic braces, and heaps of physical therapy i am almost normal :) my right foot (the one with the busted heel) is still kind of messed up. like, i can't run, stand for long periods of time, or walk on uneven terrain (damaged proprioceptors, haayy). however, i am satisfied in knowing that i will be able to do all of these again at some point!

but yeah, positivity and a sense of humor totally kept my chin up this year. TOTALLY. and my loved ones...oh my loved ones. the ones that kept me smiling. they know who they are, and they know that i love them with every fiber of my being. thank you thank you thank you for being strong and not giving up on me. ya'll are my rushmore.

ah ha ha ha crying.

ah ha ha ha poor sentence structure while crying :)

i love each and every one of you and i mean that. i'm grateful that i'm here, and i'm grateful that remarkable people like you exist.



<3 x 10000000000000000

totally.

i just realized that i am total khloe amongst women. lol oh god that sounded dumb. but yeah, i'm like the token amazon woman. all towering height, boobs, hips, and legs (god didn't bless me with an ass, oh wellz). it's not a bad thing. ha ha a friend of mine said that he prefers the term "rubenesque" ah ha ha ha!

i like me, i'm totally cool with me. all the same (and as i've mentioned in this blog) i would like to improve myself. i'm trying to lead an active lifestyle (wean myself away from the dvr and all of it's "twin peaks" reruns) and eat things that aren't terribly bad for me (wean myself away from sweets, bread and cheese. mmmm cheese.) i've even considered going raw, which is all kinds of exciting to me!

right now i'm in the throes of december's edition of the pms and i'm not even craving anything crazy, which is weird. ha ha if anything i'm craving beer. yeah.

ah so at any given point, regardless of how chubby i am, i'd like to think that i'm good at working with what i've got. with that being said, my goal is simply to be healthier and look rad in an outfit like this, or anthing by harriet's alter ego.



no kidding :)

p.s. this post is dedicated to betty page. may she rest in peace.

bring it on winter?

ok. so remember the snuggie? come to find out that the snuggie has some competition in the "creepy blanket/robes that make you look like you're in a cult" department. meet the slanket...



yeah.

decemeber's here and i am job/apartment hunting like a fiend at this point. got a couple good leads, so we shall see.

cherries, britney, and stuff that's not about you, obvi.

sooo i'm eating cherries and watching the britney documentary. it's actually not half bad? dunno. but yeah, i'm sitting here and i got to thinking...i got to thinking that my favorite people are actually really really bad at answering emails. like, it's uncanny. maybe i have a nasty little habit of writing/saying too much? that could be it. maybe they're busy? ha ha maaayyybe i should turn the neuroticism down a notch? ;)



yep.

ahh i love cherries. and guess what? i love my favorite people even more. ha ha it happens. right now "waiting to exhale" is on so might have to watch it.

yay!

another podcast is here. a yummy mix of self depreciation, randomness, and a chock full o' laughs? comin' right up!

cosmic.

i'm beginning to think that i have insomnia. it's like 1 a.m. and i'm wide awake and bored. shit, i even signed on to aim. oh wait, i've been known to do that from time to time anyway. but yeah, i found this weird online survey about dreams. nice change of pace. my dreams are always super duper strange.

ahem.

Do you have the same dreams over and over again?
it's been known to happen.

Have you ever saved someone’s life in a dream?
not that i can remember.

Do some of your dreams come true?
sometimes. it's pretty weird.

Has a dream ever scared you so badly that you couldn’t go back to sleep?
omg yes.

Do you often fly in your dreams?
no, but swimming is sometimes involved.

What about fall?
yes! and then my legs get all restless and nuts and i wake up.

Ever had a dream where you or someone else dies?
only close calls.

What about a natural disaster (tornado, flood, hurricane)?
my dreams are often windy, and sometimes there's rain. but no natural disasters.

Out of all the dreams you remember, which is your favorite?
the one where i was i at a beach at night and there were stars in the water.

Most puzzling?
the one where i wound up hiding in a muddy bush, whispering to a friend.

Funniest?
it escapes me at the moment, BUT i have woken up laughing before. it was awesome :)

Have you ever dreamed that you were lost?
no?

Ever had super abilities (invisibility, super strength)?
not really.

Do you ever dream of dinosaurs?
when i was a kid i used to day dream about dinosaurs. instead of imaginary friends i had imaginary dinosaurs.

Do you ever confuse your dreams with reality?
ALL OF THE TIME. i'm often prone to saying/thinking things like, "did that really just happen?"

Do you ever dream about sex? ha ha ha aw shucks. of course, but my dreams seem to be a lot more sublime than real life.

ha ha lame surveys :)

ah. i'd very much like to have some kind of sleepover party (snuggie party?), so i can hear all about other people's weirdo dreams the next day.

right now i'm going to go continue re-reading "running with scissors." right now i keep listening to this:

halloweenie.

1. Follow my blog with bloglovin´ it's like twitter for blogs.

2. what are you being for halloween? i'm going to be medusa for one of the parties that i'll be attending. this will require adhering toy snakes to hair barrettes. ha ha. still up in the air for the other party. i was thinkin' about maybe going the chongalicious route.



turns out that it's not much different than my usual route? i'll cook up some more ideas, and let you know all about them! :)

you'd break your neck to keep your chin up.

k, so i'm still on my "omg i've got to be positive all of the time!" mission. i'm doing ok. i've lost five lbs, i bought shoes that aren't terribly ugly (slouchy black boots, holler). i'm going to a job fair on thursday night, and am ready to charm the pants off of potential employers. yep, things are looking up. sunny side up.

all the same, i'm pretty sure that i should talk to "someone." someone with a phd, and a comfy couch. seems as though the entire world finds my natural, over emotional state to be annoying. it saddens me to know that folks are not really capable of loving me unconditionally, but whatevs. also, i'm still PMSing pretty darn hard. those closest too me think that i'm a drama queen. last night(while talking about my previous blog entry) i asked my boyfriend if i sound like a psycho jealous girlfriend. he told me that i would if i kept going on about what had me so upset. awesome. i then told him that i felt sabotaged and trapped. he understood. HE UNDERSTOOD! :) that was nice, i love it when people understand.

so yeah, perhaps i need professional help? perhaps i don't? all i know is that it certainly helps to come clean. communication is key, as is understanding. i'm an emo bitch and sometimes i cry. i truly hope that those who love me understand that. i'm trying to be stronger, though. things can only get better. you'll see :)

god, my blog entries have been a ton of fun lately, eh? ha ha wow.

p.s. listen to the new copeland album. omg.