double dare.

i double dog dare you not to laugh during this.



ahhh yeah.

i could be redundant and say that i suck at blogging, wah wah wah, etc. but i won't. things have changed LIKE CRAZY in the amaris universe. well, not that crazy but shit's looking up for once, and it's awesome. i'll tell you all about it even if it kills me (lying).

you know i love you ;)

what is this i don't even.

i don't know if this is sad, scary, or hilarious. hold me?

a word of advice.

do not watch this when you are trying to wind down for the night.




MAGIC.

whinenoceros status.

that's how it feels sometimes.

anxiety, unanswered texts/emails, my favorite people and their lack of enthusiasm for all things amaris, worrying, my busted paw, feeling like a burden as a result of the aforementioned paw, getting annoyed by myself, pointless whining, nagging neurosis, etc. once again i need cher to come and slap me, while demanding that i "snap out of it." she should also totally lend me one of her fabulous wigs.

i'd like to think that tonight is just a hiccup, and that i will emerge tomorrow morning as fresh as a daisy. a daisy who doesn't give a fuck about that negative shit.

this felt good :)

oh baby?

CGI artist have gone too far D:

being literal rules!

ha ha i'm so sure that i'm probably super late with this internet fad, but oh well :)



"spin around! ninjas!"

this video made me die, you guys. DIE.

p.s. new podcast. new home for the aforementioned podcast. back to basics (see: minimal sound effects) on this one, yo. get some :)




http://freeamaris.podomatic.com/

why is this funny?

ha!



wow, get a life amaris XD

two facts:

1. yesterday i touched a shamwow, they feel like felt. lol.

2. right now i'm packing for a roadtrip and listening to the freak folk station on last fm. it's pretty awesome :)

ETA:

slap chop, son, SLAP CHOP.



dead,

amaris

help wanted!

who wants to be in an army of lovers cover band with me??

tubular crin!

that's what some of the ravers wear in their hair. yep.



said tubular crin is otherwise known as "cyberlox" or something crazy like that. i was totally hating on the 'crin, until i saw pictures of a pretty girl wearing them (seen above). you know, i even considered being a raver for halloween because i LOVE putting ridiculous shit in my hair. instead i opted on being medusa.

but yeah, ravers. for some reason ravers insist on dressing like cats? i noticed this when the boy and i went to a dance party party in philly. i remember drunkenly saying that the cats must be PISSED at all of these candy kids. i mean, i saw a guy wearing a tail. c'mon now.



ha ha ha ugh XD

apart from the cats i'm pre-tty sure that the babies are extra pissed off at these people for their silly use of the pacifier.



=



see?!


don't know quite what i was getting at here, but i think that i made my point :)

xoxo

y/y?

i feel no good terrible AWFUL for saying this, but carla from top chef nyc totally reminds me of that meat head alien dude from that one 80's movie. whoa, run-on sentence. i must be excited.





see?!

ha ha, oh yeah. someone else feels similarly.

wow. just wow.

ok, so this will be the last pms related post for a while. at least until next month, obvi. but yeah...



ha ha ha ha like i would even *need* that!?

i remember in the 90's there was a number called 'dial an insult.' the number was 1-900-INSULT (i know, i'm missing a digit blah blah), or something. like, you would call it and the voice on the other line would insult you. great.



i love that there's a clip of the insult line's ad on youtube. LOVE! this is taking me back to valley stream, ny circa 1991. coke bottle glasses, z cavaricci shorts, floral bodysuits, training bras, and yes pms :)

on a side note, z cavaricci still has a website up and running? whaaaat?





well at least their models are pretty? i'm so confused.

LOL Que part ii a.k.a. a better amaris part iii.

the other day i said that i am going to boycott sensitivity. i'm overly sensitive, always have been. cry cry whine. i'll probably always be sensitive, but i am going to try my hardest to be a stronger, positivity infused amaris. i hear that it's GREAT on the other side ;)

in other news, i think that i might actually hate social networking sites? well, not HATE...but they are double trouble, man. like, today i went to leave my significant other a lame comment on the facebook. while doing so (and with no lurkery at all) i noticed that he had written on some girl's "wall." oh, but it was not just any girl, it was the girl that proclaimed that she "hearted" him this one time. ha ha oh boy. but yeah, he wanted to know where she's been hiding, to which she replied something about being in an ugly funk, and how he should take her out for drinks. snort. weird thing is that i'm not mad...just extremely disappointed. i have male friends, i talk to said male friends, my male friends are completely awesome. all the same, my male friends do not publicly proclaim that they ~*heart*~ me. i heart my boyfriend...no, fuck that. i LOVE my boyfriend. I DO. he's my favorite, and i'm pretty sure that he knows it. all the same, i may very well be done with these social networking sites from hell.

ahhh sensitivity. i'm pretty sure that i've gotten worse since the accident. it's almost like i have this "omg! i almost died, so be gentle with me everybody!" stigma going on. i miss my friends so much, i wish that i were at cmj week, i trust everyone which tends to bite me in the ass, i am full of love, aaand i'm having a bad case of the PMS ha ha ha.

now i'm listening to The 6ths and depeche mode while totally blissing out. factor in a hot bath and some wine and/or pot into this mix and i'm good to go. come over and watch "skins" with me tonight, ok?

love you, mean it.



um yes.

mad twitter.

lol @ the cast of "Mad Men" following me on twitter.

oh hai.

i haven't updated this thing in a minute, huh? gawd, between physical therapy, and my everyday in's and out's i couldn't really muster up the productivity to write/type/talk in circles about anything. last week was rough. like, "omgz! i'm going to have a breakdown!" rough. between a total mess up with my insurance paperwork, worrying myself silly, wanting to get the heck out of dodge, missing my friends terribly, and the shitty local bus system i was spent. SPENT. then i had an awakening, and decided that if i want something done i have to do it myself (duh amaris). sooo things are looking up, because i am making them look up damn it. ha ha ha.

for some reason this video brightened my day? it's the gift that keeps on giving, yo. i know that it is soooo not cool to laugh at "the silence of the lambs", but i always do :) plus buffalo bill makes me think about this boy i used to talk to. lol he was a creep! i definitely did NOT date him, but all the same my friends were creeped out by him, and did not want me talking to him anymore. like, he was the kind of guy that would ask perverted questions. also, his voice kind of sounded like bufflo bill's? i must have not been much fun to talk to, as i was running for saint at the time. ah ha ha ha. but yeah, this video rules!

oic.

for some reason i brought up patti mayonnaise in an email today. because of this, and because i really enjoy people who look like real life "Doug" characters, i decided to google her.



fun nostalgia ensued until i came upon this gem. um, what? i love urbandictionary.com and all, but that's foul yo. ha ha mostly because i totally hate mayo. HATE. all the same, that site super amusing.

aaand as i typed this Aaliyah came on in my itunes :)

um, blasphemy?

so i was not aware that there were TWO guys named "Rusko" gracing god's green earth with some dope ass music.

but yeah, one of these things is not like the other.

i give you Rusko's tune "Cockney Thug."



yay! imho, his stuff is simply fantastic :)

aaaand i give your Rusko Star's hit "Attention Whore." oh yes.



"i think i love myself!" omigod omigod i'm officially dead. DEAD. i can't hate though, you know that this would totally be on my ipod if it weren't broken ;) ha ha this Rusko STAR sounds just like this German au-pair guy named Bjorn that I met, like, a million years ago. he bought me a bottle of The Body Shop's oceanus perfume. shit smelled super fresh. his boyfriend's name was Yentz.



xo

tl;dr

it's no secret that i love everybody. humans are my cup of tea, and i am pretty sure that they are totally aware of this (albeit a smidgen weirded out). it's an extraordinary kind of love that stems from fascination, and humor. yep, that sounds about right.

with that being said, i got to thinking about love ("hearting" to be exact) the other night. it's totally lame, but i accidentally came across the myspace profile of someone on my dude's friends list. this pal's user status stated that she, uh, "hearts" my boyfriend. MY boyfriend. i tried to brush it off for a second, but then through some lurkery (that actually wasn't much lurkery at all) i saw that this person has been commenting my main squeeze left and right, telling him that he's cute, etc. this made me feel a bit sick, and like never before i decided to grab the yak by the horns and ask questions. it's so cool having a back bone!

after a spell on the phone with the boyfriend, he assured me that the female in question is simply an acquaintance he never hangs out with. also, she is a total weirdo that has a crush on him. duh. he also told me that i should write to her if it would make me feel better, but i can't be bothered. plus she looks like the president of avon cosmetics. ew ha ha. most people would get all "trust no one!" in a situation like this, but i know better. my boyfriend, he does not beat around the bush. he is, like, the bluntest, most brutally honest person in the world. i trust him and i love him. i really do :)

that whole ish got me thinking about scruples, and how some people have a complete and utter lack of them. it's sad really. i've never been one of those psycho jealous types who forbids their signifigant other from having friends who happens to be girls. fuck that, yo. i have some super cool male friends, but they do not parade around saying that they "heart" me lol lol. some people just don't care, though. ah well. some people deserve a big, fat "LOL QUE."



but yeah, i still love humans. ha ha ha not quite sure what i'm trying to get at here, buuuut this is my blog and it *is* in no particular order ;)

listen to black moth super rainbow, and go see "walle." meet you there...i'll have bottled water and chocolates.