whinenoceros status.

that's how it feels sometimes.

anxiety, unanswered texts/emails, my favorite people and their lack of enthusiasm for all things amaris, worrying, my busted paw, feeling like a burden as a result of the aforementioned paw, getting annoyed by myself, pointless whining, nagging neurosis, etc. once again i need cher to come and slap me, while demanding that i "snap out of it." she should also totally lend me one of her fabulous wigs.

i'd like to think that tonight is just a hiccup, and that i will emerge tomorrow morning as fresh as a daisy. a daisy who doesn't give a fuck about that negative shit.

this felt good :)

oh baby?

CGI artist have gone too far D:

l'eggs.

this is a post about my legs. i've been neglecting this blog as of late (blame my tumblr, yo). i've also been neglecting my legs. last year my right leg got hella skinny from being wrapped up in a cast for months, it was scary. it's back to it's normal size, but it could use some toning. ha ha it's just like my left leg now!



but yeah, legs. i mostly use a picture of my legs as the default photo on my myspace. you see, i'm job hunting and i don't want to be that accessible to prospective employers. not to mention my profile is, like, totally private. i don't have anything to hide of course, but blah blah blah etc. for a while the aforementioned profile was not private, and i had one of those anonymous ~*ultra mega secret box*~ apps. one person insulted me in broken enlish, questioning my creativity. one person said "hotty." and then came the leg comments. "the things i would do to those legs" and "u got nasty fat legs" were my favorite. ha ha pretty sure i know who the "nasty fat leg" comment came from :) people are so weird. i deleted the creepy ~*ultra mega secret box*~ app, and the comments stopped...until recently. just the other day i got an A+ friend request. it speaks for itself.



yeeeaaah. wtf.

don't know quite what i was getting at here, but i sure said "legs" A LOT.

better than butter.

mmm butter.

Free Amaris PSA from Amaris Gomez on Vimeo.

new podcast, bb's. be sure to check it out :)

http://freeamaris.mypodcast.com/

http://freeamaris.mypodcast.com/

http://freeamaris.mypodcast.com/

tubular crin!

that's what some of the ravers wear in their hair. yep.



said tubular crin is otherwise known as "cyberlox" or something crazy like that. i was totally hating on the 'crin, until i saw pictures of a pretty girl wearing them (seen above). you know, i even considered being a raver for halloween because i LOVE putting ridiculous shit in my hair. instead i opted on being medusa.

but yeah, ravers. for some reason ravers insist on dressing like cats? i noticed this when the boy and i went to a dance party party in philly. i remember drunkenly saying that the cats must be PISSED at all of these candy kids. i mean, i saw a guy wearing a tail. c'mon now.



ha ha ha ugh XD

apart from the cats i'm pre-tty sure that the babies are extra pissed off at these people for their silly use of the pacifier.



=



see?!


don't know quite what i was getting at here, but i think that i made my point :)

xoxo

wow. just wow.

ok, so this will be the last pms related post for a while. at least until next month, obvi. but yeah...



ha ha ha ha like i would even *need* that!?

i remember in the 90's there was a number called 'dial an insult.' the number was 1-900-INSULT (i know, i'm missing a digit blah blah), or something. like, you would call it and the voice on the other line would insult you. great.



i love that there's a clip of the insult line's ad on youtube. LOVE! this is taking me back to valley stream, ny circa 1991. coke bottle glasses, z cavaricci shorts, floral bodysuits, training bras, and yes pms :)

on a side note, z cavaricci still has a website up and running? whaaaat?





well at least their models are pretty? i'm so confused.

bwahahaha!

babies on the martha stewart show.

babies dressed like thanksgiving dinner on the martha stewart show.

um what?

bring it on, autumn!

um, have you heard about the snuggie yet???



let's all buy one and have snuggie parties and/or start a snuggie cult. i'm only half kidding. i love being warm and cozy.

as close as possible without threatening your seed.

um, this is gonna be good. no, this gonna be omfg amazing.

also, i just had me some iced tea and spinach dal with some whole wheat naan. the only thing missing was a samosa, a friend, and some kingfisher to drink with said friend afterwards. kinda sucks that summer's winding down, yeah?

xx

i've been gone for a minute there.

yeeeaaah. so today i sat on buses for a combined seven hours all because i didn't feel like catching an earlier, more direct bus. silly amaris. all the same, i got to see thye philadelphia greyhound station. always interesting. tomorrow: physical therapy, and i am totally telling you secrets :) right now it's all about iced tea, and these awesome honey bbq peanuts i copped from the amazing ben.



p.s. miss piggy + peaches = a little slice of awesome.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

oic.

for some reason i brought up patti mayonnaise in an email today. because of this, and because i really enjoy people who look like real life "Doug" characters, i decided to google her.



fun nostalgia ensued until i came upon this gem. um, what? i love urbandictionary.com and all, but that's foul yo. ha ha mostly because i totally hate mayo. HATE. all the same, that site super amusing.

aaand as i typed this Aaliyah came on in my itunes :)

youtube have my babies...my disturbingly awesome, world music babies.

soooo when i first moved to pennsylvania six thousand years ago we had this whole satellite television setup. said setup had this channel called "world link tv." since this was around the time that most tv was beginning to suck ("friends", mtv, etc.) i always found myself watching this world link tv. occasionally they'd show music videos from around the world. these videos have stuck with me for a good part of the decade, and nobody ever knows what i am talking about. now you'll know! :)

ok. first is a video by natacha atlas called "mistaneek." natacha and i totally look like we could be related, aaaaand i used to crush on the cab driver real bad XD



then we have masha and the bears from russia. omg, this song is way catchy. actually used to put it on mix cds ALL of the time.



aaaand lastly, i bring you juno reactor with their hit "god is god!" but seriously, this one used to creep me out something fierce. i hear that the video itself is actual footage from an actual movie?
if any of you can get your hot little hands on whatever movie this is from i will most likely bake for you ;)



xo

amaris