nom?

so i totally bought this book for five bucks at barnes & noble. they've got some awesome ideas in it. also, they don't insinuate that chubbier people, and meat eaters are disgustingly gross devil people...unlike the ladies behind "skinny bitch." in the meantime i seem to have misplaced my copy (see: i lost it in a night club, of all places), but oh well. i'll buy another copy if i could get it for the same price. scout's honor :)

but yeah, i'm still trying to fight the good fight, make healthy choices for my body, be a hotter/better amaris, fitter, happier, more productive, blah blah blah. sucks that i can't exercise my ass off right now, since i'm still rockin' the orthopedic boot. yesterday i found a picture of myself on some nightlife/party website, and i looked like a tan miss piggy, with a side of heaving cleavage. no bueno :(



soooo yeah, back to attempting to whip my ass into shape. hopefully wii boxing, free weights, and some time on the yoga ball will make a dent? i'm also going on the master cleanse again, since i lost a whopping ten lbs the last time. yeah, i know that fasts are bad news, but it kind of felt awesome to get rid of those pesky little toxins. i know my limits :) consider this all part of my positivity mission. i'm almost caught up organizing my life, and this will be a piece of cake. mmm cake. ha ha oh no. i also have pms right now, as well as a nasty cold, soooo cravings are imminent. shit happens.

talking in circles about body image, exercising, and food yay!

wish me luck.

totally.

i just realized that i am total khloe amongst women. lol oh god that sounded dumb. but yeah, i'm like the token amazon woman. all towering height, boobs, hips, and legs (god didn't bless me with an ass, oh wellz). it's not a bad thing. ha ha a friend of mine said that he prefers the term "rubenesque" ah ha ha ha!

i like me, i'm totally cool with me. all the same (and as i've mentioned in this blog) i would like to improve myself. i'm trying to lead an active lifestyle (wean myself away from the dvr and all of it's "twin peaks" reruns) and eat things that aren't terribly bad for me (wean myself away from sweets, bread and cheese. mmmm cheese.) i've even considered going raw, which is all kinds of exciting to me!

right now i'm in the throes of december's edition of the pms and i'm not even craving anything crazy, which is weird. ha ha if anything i'm craving beer. yeah.

ah so at any given point, regardless of how chubby i am, i'd like to think that i'm good at working with what i've got. with that being said, my goal is simply to be healthier and look rad in an outfit like this, or anthing by harriet's alter ego.



no kidding :)

p.s. this post is dedicated to betty page. may she rest in peace.

a better amaris part ii.

well, as you know (from reading the post below, of course) i'm totally stoked on making healthy choices for my body. naturally i have to make sure that my mind is moderately safe and sound as well. i've been in two car accidents over the last twelve months, and they certainly have changed me. like i'm pretty much in love with life, and extremely aware of it's fragility. i am lucky.

all the same, my whole situation has left me a bit on the shell shocked end of the spectrum. i cry more than i used to, and that sucks ha ha ha. it's not that bad, i guess, but my confidence has definitely suffered. late last fall i used to drive to see my dude (he lives two hours away) on a regular basis, hang out with my friends a lot, go to work, smoke cigarettes, and go on mini shopping sprees (hellooo outlet malls). these days i have to take a 4-6 hour ($43.00 one way) bus to see my favorite boy, it feels as though my friends can't be bothered, i receive a tiny amount of money as a result of my disability (busted paw), quit smoking which is actually good apart from the weight gain, and can only really afford sale rack/and or thrift shop items. ha that last one aint too bad either, but you know.

so yeah, the aforementioned setbacks seem to cause occasional onslaughts of depression, helplessness, crying spells, pity parties, etc. but WHHHYYYY? i'm SO much better than all of these things, and it's my hands to improve upon them. what i really need is a fire under my ass. i talk about fires under my ass a lot these days. i want to be a better amaris, and self loathing does not a better amaris make :) i am going to work harder, become more organized (LOL), test the waters of my potential because i'm pretty sure that there is an ocean there. ha ha don't you love it when your blog posts are kind of all over the place? this feels good.

as i've said before...things are going to look up BECAUSE i am going to make them look up. for myself and for the people i love the most, because they mean the entire universe to me.

big plans, wish me luck!

i love you.

a better amaris part i.

soooo i'm on a diet now. i ate a small bowl of asopao de camarones and drank some black cherry juice tonight. gonna try and eat my veggies, avoid random sweets, and spend at least an hour on the stationary bike from now on. yep. my new diet will also prove to be helpful when i go out to eat with friends, my man, my fammo, etc., as i will be ordering a very small (and therefore inexpensive) amount of food. yeeeaaah, the fact that i've been disabled for almost a year has certainly taken a nasty little toll on my purse.

out of everyone i must say that the two people who take me on yummy food adventures would be my boyfriend and my mother. ha ha for some reason mom likes to take me for random iced lattes and/or ice creams (among other things). my boyfriend (ohhh my boyfriend) and i are, like, ALWAYS out at some random restaurant. the other day he jokingly said that once i'm better and working that i am going to owe him A LOT of dinners. this upset me and made me cry because: a. crying is my numero uno self defense mechanism (lame, huh?), and b. i generally felt bad and devoid of any independence (read: moochiness). after wearing my sunglasses indoors and pouting over beer and salad i got over it. i did, however, make a decision then and there not to go balls out when i go out to eat anymore (does that make sense?). my waist will thank me, and it will work out for all parties involved, trust me :) i just wish certain people knew just how much they mean to me. like, i'm pretty sure that they know but i just want to make sure.

ahhh fires under my ass are kinda awesome. all the same, there will be no ana/mia business here, thank you very much. i'm ultimately doing this to be healthy.

having goals rocks, and exercise is kind of fun in terms of getting my neglected endorphins pumping. yeah!

part ii up next...

ETA: i'm not giving up on beer though ;)