...

so about a week ago i was feeling way down in the dumps for mildly selfish reasons. when i'm super bummed like that i tend to listen to the saddest music in the world, of course. in doing so i decided to break out some old sparklehorse tunes. sparklehorse's music played a HUGE part in my early 20's, and has stuck with me like melancholic honey ever since. did i actually just type "meloncholic honey?" gross, amaris. but yeah, mark linkous' music has always had such profound affect on me...an affect that i'll never quite be able to explain.

when i heard about his passing i cried. oh my god you guys, i cried the hardest that have in a while (the word "guttural" comes to mind). usually ~*celebrity*~ deaths have zero influence on my moods, but this was different. my guts were wrenched, my heart was broken, and i was not sniveling about my own mundane life for once. heh, i may or may not be choked up right now. ugh :(

mark linkous, your gifts will be missed so much more than you'll ever know.

kid stuff.

so the music that i used to love as a middle schooler now causes me to erupt in bouts of hysterical laughter. i was a fun kid. if i could travel back in time i'd totally hang out with teenage amaris! i'd also tell her to pluck her eyebrows, stop holding her feelings in (or eating them), wear flattering clothes, and to keep on wearing green, glittery lipstick.









golden, right?!

aaand then the jon spencer blues explosion's music turned me into a woman! the end.

my butt my butt my butt.

oh youtube, i will never stop loving you...unless vimeo wins me over.

my favorite meal.

omg evil prom!

oh yes, another missbehave party :)



i want to go, but of course a place to crash is an issue ha ha.

ps i'm watching "chicago" and it's awesome, of course.

this wilderness up in my head.

do your self a favor and pick up "Merriweather Post Pavilion" by Animal Collective. it's omg amazing.



to say that they are my favorite band would be an understatement. ha ha see? :)



p.s. i'm seeing them in concert this may. oh yesss.

help wanted!

who wants to be in an army of lovers cover band with me??

weird.

=



O_o

i know that most people tend to feel depressed and like shit on sundays, but for some reason i've been super blissful today? like, my endorphins are going NUTS. so nuts that my heart started palpitating. oh happy anxiety :) i keep laughing too, it's pretty awesome. not like i'm usually a miserable mabel or anything, but feeling this happy for no particular reason is a smidge foreign to me. ha ha just a little. can't complain, though. heh, maybe if i'm lucky enough that inspiration that i've been looking for will bite me in the ass. cool!

p.s. new animal collective next month. get stoked, i'm already there!



p.p.s. when i think of the twilight zone i always think of this:



:)

oh hai new theme song.

i am so sure that it's 10 years of lame to be posting song lyrics all up in your livejournal, let alone your BLOG. ha ha watch me care ;)

"negative thinking" by THE DEATH SET

If I felt cynicism, I'd wrap it in a blanket of discontentment, Fuck that!,
I feel better knowing that I decided not to,
When you were looking 'round, you veered to the right,
Did you notice that?
And I feel better knowing that I decided not to.

In hindsight, I don't want to be like the people I've liked.


ha ha yay!


aaaand in other news, i'm made my first podcast the other night. it's fun.

cosmic.

i'm beginning to think that i have insomnia. it's like 1 a.m. and i'm wide awake and bored. shit, i even signed on to aim. oh wait, i've been known to do that from time to time anyway. but yeah, i found this weird online survey about dreams. nice change of pace. my dreams are always super duper strange.

ahem.

Do you have the same dreams over and over again?
it's been known to happen.

Have you ever saved someone’s life in a dream?
not that i can remember.

Do some of your dreams come true?
sometimes. it's pretty weird.

Has a dream ever scared you so badly that you couldn’t go back to sleep?
omg yes.

Do you often fly in your dreams?
no, but swimming is sometimes involved.

What about fall?
yes! and then my legs get all restless and nuts and i wake up.

Ever had a dream where you or someone else dies?
only close calls.

What about a natural disaster (tornado, flood, hurricane)?
my dreams are often windy, and sometimes there's rain. but no natural disasters.

Out of all the dreams you remember, which is your favorite?
the one where i was i at a beach at night and there were stars in the water.

Most puzzling?
the one where i wound up hiding in a muddy bush, whispering to a friend.

Funniest?
it escapes me at the moment, BUT i have woken up laughing before. it was awesome :)

Have you ever dreamed that you were lost?
no?

Ever had super abilities (invisibility, super strength)?
not really.

Do you ever dream of dinosaurs?
when i was a kid i used to day dream about dinosaurs. instead of imaginary friends i had imaginary dinosaurs.

Do you ever confuse your dreams with reality?
ALL OF THE TIME. i'm often prone to saying/thinking things like, "did that really just happen?"

Do you ever dream about sex? ha ha ha aw shucks. of course, but my dreams seem to be a lot more sublime than real life.

ha ha lame surveys :)

ah. i'd very much like to have some kind of sleepover party (snuggie party?), so i can hear all about other people's weirdo dreams the next day.

right now i'm going to go continue re-reading "running with scissors." right now i keep listening to this:

ew.

i just realized that as of october 13th i've been on myspace for five years. FIVE YEARS. that's a long time. i now have 2000 and some friends, half of which are bands, etsy shops, filmmakers , etc. it's all good. and the other half would be a melange of delightful human beings from all over the galaxy. yay! but yeah, did you know that i've saved like every single email i've received on the myspace? yep. looking and back and reading some of the old ones is really quite interesting, and very weird. ha ha perhaps i should publish said emails? perhaps not.

if you want to lurk and/or add me please feel free to do so. i trust that (all three) people who read this are not creeps. http://www.myspace.com/theonlyamaris

in other nostalgic news:

long before the internetz (1994, yo) i became mildly obsessed with a song by the electronic group orbital. today i went on youtube and found the video for the aforementioned song. this filled me with every kind of emotion possible. well, not really...like, i wasn't mad or anything ha ha. it was the kind of moment when your heart's in your throat, you're smiling, and tears are streaming down your face. a precious moment, obvi. anyway, here's what i'm talking about:



so nice.

btw, the cute girl in the blue shirt is totally alison goldfrapp, who also happens to be gracing this awesome track with her omg amazing pipes. holy shit. ha ha i'm like a walking compliment today :)

whoa.

is M.I.A. preggers?

ETA: she totally is. good for her :) yeah, off topic but is it wrong that i kind of need the "mexico" bodysuit from her clothing line? exercise incentive haayyy.