omfg.

um why was i not aware of this?!





like, i just happened upon the premier on lifetime, and holy smokes was i stoked :) yay makeup artistry!

so yeah, every tuesday night at 10:00pm on lifetime tune in for your weekly dose of "blush."

LOL Que part ii a.k.a. a better amaris part iii.

the other day i said that i am going to boycott sensitivity. i'm overly sensitive, always have been. cry cry whine. i'll probably always be sensitive, but i am going to try my hardest to be a stronger, positivity infused amaris. i hear that it's GREAT on the other side ;)

in other news, i think that i might actually hate social networking sites? well, not HATE...but they are double trouble, man. like, today i went to leave my significant other a lame comment on the facebook. while doing so (and with no lurkery at all) i noticed that he had written on some girl's "wall." oh, but it was not just any girl, it was the girl that proclaimed that she "hearted" him this one time. ha ha oh boy. but yeah, he wanted to know where she's been hiding, to which she replied something about being in an ugly funk, and how he should take her out for drinks. snort. weird thing is that i'm not mad...just extremely disappointed. i have male friends, i talk to said male friends, my male friends are completely awesome. all the same, my male friends do not publicly proclaim that they ~*heart*~ me. i heart my boyfriend...no, fuck that. i LOVE my boyfriend. I DO. he's my favorite, and i'm pretty sure that he knows it. all the same, i may very well be done with these social networking sites from hell.

ahhh sensitivity. i'm pretty sure that i've gotten worse since the accident. it's almost like i have this "omg! i almost died, so be gentle with me everybody!" stigma going on. i miss my friends so much, i wish that i were at cmj week, i trust everyone which tends to bite me in the ass, i am full of love, aaand i'm having a bad case of the PMS ha ha ha.

now i'm listening to The 6ths and depeche mode while totally blissing out. factor in a hot bath and some wine and/or pot into this mix and i'm good to go. come over and watch "skins" with me tonight, ok?

love you, mean it.



um yes.

a better amaris part ii.

well, as you know (from reading the post below, of course) i'm totally stoked on making healthy choices for my body. naturally i have to make sure that my mind is moderately safe and sound as well. i've been in two car accidents over the last twelve months, and they certainly have changed me. like i'm pretty much in love with life, and extremely aware of it's fragility. i am lucky.

all the same, my whole situation has left me a bit on the shell shocked end of the spectrum. i cry more than i used to, and that sucks ha ha ha. it's not that bad, i guess, but my confidence has definitely suffered. late last fall i used to drive to see my dude (he lives two hours away) on a regular basis, hang out with my friends a lot, go to work, smoke cigarettes, and go on mini shopping sprees (hellooo outlet malls). these days i have to take a 4-6 hour ($43.00 one way) bus to see my favorite boy, it feels as though my friends can't be bothered, i receive a tiny amount of money as a result of my disability (busted paw), quit smoking which is actually good apart from the weight gain, and can only really afford sale rack/and or thrift shop items. ha that last one aint too bad either, but you know.

so yeah, the aforementioned setbacks seem to cause occasional onslaughts of depression, helplessness, crying spells, pity parties, etc. but WHHHYYYY? i'm SO much better than all of these things, and it's my hands to improve upon them. what i really need is a fire under my ass. i talk about fires under my ass a lot these days. i want to be a better amaris, and self loathing does not a better amaris make :) i am going to work harder, become more organized (LOL), test the waters of my potential because i'm pretty sure that there is an ocean there. ha ha don't you love it when your blog posts are kind of all over the place? this feels good.

as i've said before...things are going to look up BECAUSE i am going to make them look up. for myself and for the people i love the most, because they mean the entire universe to me.

big plans, wish me luck!

i love you.

tl;dr

it's no secret that i love everybody. humans are my cup of tea, and i am pretty sure that they are totally aware of this (albeit a smidgen weirded out). it's an extraordinary kind of love that stems from fascination, and humor. yep, that sounds about right.

with that being said, i got to thinking about love ("hearting" to be exact) the other night. it's totally lame, but i accidentally came across the myspace profile of someone on my dude's friends list. this pal's user status stated that she, uh, "hearts" my boyfriend. MY boyfriend. i tried to brush it off for a second, but then through some lurkery (that actually wasn't much lurkery at all) i saw that this person has been commenting my main squeeze left and right, telling him that he's cute, etc. this made me feel a bit sick, and like never before i decided to grab the yak by the horns and ask questions. it's so cool having a back bone!

after a spell on the phone with the boyfriend, he assured me that the female in question is simply an acquaintance he never hangs out with. also, she is a total weirdo that has a crush on him. duh. he also told me that i should write to her if it would make me feel better, but i can't be bothered. plus she looks like the president of avon cosmetics. ew ha ha. most people would get all "trust no one!" in a situation like this, but i know better. my boyfriend, he does not beat around the bush. he is, like, the bluntest, most brutally honest person in the world. i trust him and i love him. i really do :)

that whole ish got me thinking about scruples, and how some people have a complete and utter lack of them. it's sad really. i've never been one of those psycho jealous types who forbids their signifigant other from having friends who happens to be girls. fuck that, yo. i have some super cool male friends, but they do not parade around saying that they "heart" me lol lol. some people just don't care, though. ah well. some people deserve a big, fat "LOL QUE."



but yeah, i still love humans. ha ha ha not quite sure what i'm trying to get at here, buuuut this is my blog and it *is* in no particular order ;)

listen to black moth super rainbow, and go see "walle." meet you there...i'll have bottled water and chocolates.