ew.

i just realized that as of october 13th i've been on myspace for five years. FIVE YEARS. that's a long time. i now have 2000 and some friends, half of which are bands, etsy shops, filmmakers , etc. it's all good. and the other half would be a melange of delightful human beings from all over the galaxy. yay! but yeah, did you know that i've saved like every single email i've received on the myspace? yep. looking and back and reading some of the old ones is really quite interesting, and very weird. ha ha perhaps i should publish said emails? perhaps not.

if you want to lurk and/or add me please feel free to do so. i trust that (all three) people who read this are not creeps. http://www.myspace.com/theonlyamaris

in other nostalgic news:

long before the internetz (1994, yo) i became mildly obsessed with a song by the electronic group orbital. today i went on youtube and found the video for the aforementioned song. this filled me with every kind of emotion possible. well, not really...like, i wasn't mad or anything ha ha. it was the kind of moment when your heart's in your throat, you're smiling, and tears are streaming down your face. a precious moment, obvi. anyway, here's what i'm talking about:



so nice.

btw, the cute girl in the blue shirt is totally alison goldfrapp, who also happens to be gracing this awesome track with her omg amazing pipes. holy shit. ha ha i'm like a walking compliment today :)

hurr.

because, much like elina on ANTM, my hair is like a small cat living on my head. i, however, was born this way and her's was, um, weaved that way. so yeah, it seems as though my hair is growing bigger, not longer. i guess i'm going to have to go in for a trim, but i'm wondering what to do with the the whole bang situation. i've cut them myself in the past, and sometimes i do an awesome job. other times i wind up looking like i went at it with a nail clipper. at this point the old bangs are constantly poking me in the eyes. i'm not sure if i should cut them, them or grow them out. what would you do?

here's my most favorite set of bangs ever. my bangs (and most, i assume) sometimes cause delightful forehead acne.



aaand here's me with a bit of a forehead. sometimes i'm not a fan of my forehead. god, that sounds so lame.



thoughts?

ha ha speaking of hair, the other day my boyfriend and i went to the art supply store to buy some fake doll hair for his halloween costume. that shit was sooo hard to find, and they only had soul glo curls available for purchase lol. also, my boyfriend made me pay for the bags of hair because he felt weird. i laughed.

whoa.

is M.I.A. preggers?

ETA: she totally is. good for her :) yeah, off topic but is it wrong that i kind of need the "mexico" bodysuit from her clothing line? exercise incentive haayyy.

mad twitter.

lol @ the cast of "Mad Men" following me on twitter.

a better amaris part ii.

well, as you know (from reading the post below, of course) i'm totally stoked on making healthy choices for my body. naturally i have to make sure that my mind is moderately safe and sound as well. i've been in two car accidents over the last twelve months, and they certainly have changed me. like i'm pretty much in love with life, and extremely aware of it's fragility. i am lucky.

all the same, my whole situation has left me a bit on the shell shocked end of the spectrum. i cry more than i used to, and that sucks ha ha ha. it's not that bad, i guess, but my confidence has definitely suffered. late last fall i used to drive to see my dude (he lives two hours away) on a regular basis, hang out with my friends a lot, go to work, smoke cigarettes, and go on mini shopping sprees (hellooo outlet malls). these days i have to take a 4-6 hour ($43.00 one way) bus to see my favorite boy, it feels as though my friends can't be bothered, i receive a tiny amount of money as a result of my disability (busted paw), quit smoking which is actually good apart from the weight gain, and can only really afford sale rack/and or thrift shop items. ha that last one aint too bad either, but you know.

so yeah, the aforementioned setbacks seem to cause occasional onslaughts of depression, helplessness, crying spells, pity parties, etc. but WHHHYYYY? i'm SO much better than all of these things, and it's my hands to improve upon them. what i really need is a fire under my ass. i talk about fires under my ass a lot these days. i want to be a better amaris, and self loathing does not a better amaris make :) i am going to work harder, become more organized (LOL), test the waters of my potential because i'm pretty sure that there is an ocean there. ha ha don't you love it when your blog posts are kind of all over the place? this feels good.

as i've said before...things are going to look up BECAUSE i am going to make them look up. for myself and for the people i love the most, because they mean the entire universe to me.

big plans, wish me luck!

i love you.

a better amaris part i.

soooo i'm on a diet now. i ate a small bowl of asopao de camarones and drank some black cherry juice tonight. gonna try and eat my veggies, avoid random sweets, and spend at least an hour on the stationary bike from now on. yep. my new diet will also prove to be helpful when i go out to eat with friends, my man, my fammo, etc., as i will be ordering a very small (and therefore inexpensive) amount of food. yeeeaaah, the fact that i've been disabled for almost a year has certainly taken a nasty little toll on my purse.

out of everyone i must say that the two people who take me on yummy food adventures would be my boyfriend and my mother. ha ha for some reason mom likes to take me for random iced lattes and/or ice creams (among other things). my boyfriend (ohhh my boyfriend) and i are, like, ALWAYS out at some random restaurant. the other day he jokingly said that once i'm better and working that i am going to owe him A LOT of dinners. this upset me and made me cry because: a. crying is my numero uno self defense mechanism (lame, huh?), and b. i generally felt bad and devoid of any independence (read: moochiness). after wearing my sunglasses indoors and pouting over beer and salad i got over it. i did, however, make a decision then and there not to go balls out when i go out to eat anymore (does that make sense?). my waist will thank me, and it will work out for all parties involved, trust me :) i just wish certain people knew just how much they mean to me. like, i'm pretty sure that they know but i just want to make sure.

ahhh fires under my ass are kinda awesome. all the same, there will be no ana/mia business here, thank you very much. i'm ultimately doing this to be healthy.

having goals rocks, and exercise is kind of fun in terms of getting my neglected endorphins pumping. yeah!

part ii up next...

ETA: i'm not giving up on beer though ;)

muffin vs cupcake?

these days everybody's got election day fever, and rightfully so! then there are sites like "Taste Debate 08", in which you can decide between a cupcake and a muffin. um, what? ha ha at least they're available in handy little 100 calorie packs.



but yeah, tomorrow is the last day that you can register to vote, so get on that bb's :)