you love n.p.o.

the magic is YOU.

2010-08-16T22:03:00.004-04:00

so i totally turned 30 today. i still suck at updating this here blogger blog, but hey i sure do tweet a lot? ha. again, i'm not going to lie and say that i will fully commit to updating and posting on a regular basis. i'm trying to be an honest woman, you know? but yeah, woo 30! i also recently chopped my hair off. things are good, i'm pregnant with possibility (no babies, though), and waaay past due. teetering on the brink of awesomeness, if you're picking up what i'm putting down. jesus, i sound like i'm speaking in riddles or bob dylan lyrics :(

three more things: i love you, let's talk soon, listen to bronski beat.

double dare.

2010-06-11T17:35:00.003-04:00

i double dog dare you not to laugh during this.

ahhh yeah.

i could be redundant and say that i suck at blogging, wah wah wah, etc. but i won't. things have changed LIKE CRAZY in the amaris universe. well, not that crazy but shit's looking up for once, and it's awesome. i'll tell you all about it even if it kills me (lying).

you know i love you ;)

...

2010-03-31T20:11:00.004-04:00

so about a week ago i was feeling way down in the dumps for mildly selfish reasons. when i'm super bummed like that i tend to listen to the saddest music in the world, of course. in doing so i decided to break out some old sparklehorse tunes. sparklehorse's music played a HUGE part in my early 20's, and has stuck with me like melancholic honey ever since. did i actually just type "meloncholic honey?" gross, amaris. but yeah, mark linkous' music has always had such profound affect on me...an affect that i'll never quite be able to explain.

when i heard about his passing i cried. oh my god you guys, i cried the hardest that have in a while (the word "guttural" comes to mind). usually ~*celebrity*~ deaths have zero influence on my moods, but this was different. my guts were wrenched, my heart was broken, and i was not sniveling about my own mundane life for once. heh, i may or may not be choked up right now. ugh :(

mark linkous, your gifts will be missed so much more than you'll ever know.

spring, sprang, sprung.

2010-03-20T22:02:00.003-04:00

i totally remember blasting this gem on the first day of spring. i was a very literal 14 year old.

happy vernal equinox, dears. i'm going to go listen to "touch my tooter."

what is this i don't even.

2010-01-06T22:27:00.001-05:00

i don't know if this is sad, scary, or hilarious. hold me?

dur dur d'etre bebe!

2009-12-22T16:09:00.003-05:00

whatever happened to jordy?

also, this jam mysteriously popped into my noggin in a target dressing room.

regression session.

2009-12-19T17:17:00.005-05:00

so it's snowing here in sunny south central pennsylvania. like, REALLY snowing. the duder is keeping busy with video games, and i am laughing at old mix cds, drinking some gosh darned hoegaarden. ha ha not much going on, so decided to indulge myself in a survey for old times sake. this one's for you myspace!

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
besides this earth shatteringly good beer? some hot, french vanilla cafe action. i love you general foods, and your international coffees.

2.Where was your profile picture taken?
it was taken on my bed i think?

3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
ehh i prefer the karaoke type games. tried dj hero in best buy the other, and i caused a scene since all i could do was train wreck, and laugh.

4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
regretsy.com, duh.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
i was up til about 2:30 a.m. watching old LOST episodes.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
here is pretty cool, thanks very much :) although a log cabin in the woods, or a shih tzu farm in the country would rule when i'm older.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
yep.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
apart from my HBG pals, i think that cece might live the closest? or perk. what's closer, DC or philly?

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
if there is zero douchebaggery involved, which usually isn't the case.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
i can get down with cherry diet dr. pepper.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
this past week. yaaaaay pms :(

12. Who took your profile picture?
myself.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Bentastic.

14. Was yesterday better than today?
no. i didn't have to wake up 6 am today, dude.

15. Can you live a day without TV?
of course.

16. Are you upset about anything?
nope.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
absolutely.

18. Are you a bad influence?
ha ha i may very well be.

19. Night out or night in?
either or can be all kinds of amazing.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
my contacts, black eyeliner, and lip balm.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
heh i'm usually the one there.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"he's asian?!"

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
more hours at work would rule, but otherwise things are looking up.

24. Do you hate anyone?
nah.

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
spam, secrets, more spam.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
mmm hmm.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
that was funny.

28. What song is stuck in your head?

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
a surprise visit from some friends would rule.

30.Wanna have grandkids by the time your 50?
i don't care?

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
wake up, cook, clean, watch documentaries, etc.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
ha ha ha waaaaay too much.

33. Do you smile a lot?
oh yes.

that didn't even feel good ;(

a better amaris 3.0

2009-12-13T20:33:00.007-05:00

i recently joined a gym. i've even gone as far as hiring a personal trainer. busting my ass with strength training and cardio, etc. i know that i will never ever be tiny and that's beyond cool, but i wouldn't mind fitting into my favorite pair of jeans again. actually, i've forbade myself from purchasing jeans until i reach my goal. in the meantime it looks like leggings for me!

about a year and i half ago i fell in love with these CRAZY gold leggings at target, but for some reason never bought them? :(

then one day i was perusing the lovely wares at b&lu (a place to find super fantastic clothes for the zaftig set) and i came upon these bad boys.

can you say kismet?

so yeah, wish me luck on my legging clad journey of wellness. i've even started eating better (cooking my own meals helps), and drinking buckets full of water everyday. is it too geeky to say that i'm excited about looking, and feeling healthier? ha ha fuck it, i'm so ready :) all the same, i'm not going to say that i am banishing pizza, beer, and cupcakes forever cuz that would be one of the filthiest lies.

p.s. i promise to wear dresses, tunics, and shirts that at least cover my bum during this time of knit leg wear. pinkie swear.

kid stuff.

2009-12-13T16:49:00.003-05:00

so the music that i used to love as a middle schooler now causes me to erupt in bouts of hysterical laughter. i was a fun kid. if i could travel back in time i'd totally hang out with teenage amaris! i'd also tell her to pluck her eyebrows, stop holding her feelings in (or eating them), wear flattering clothes, and to keep on wearing green, glittery lipstick.

golden, right?!

aaand then the jon spencer blues explosion's music turned me into a woman! the end.

it's magic part ii

2009-12-13T16:46:00.001-05:00

whoa, has it really been a month since my last post? ha ha that sucks.

apart from the flotsam, the jetsum, and spam mail, the internet can be a wonderfully magnificent place. i could go on and on about countless websites that teach you about helping others, helping yourself, making art, getting inspired, saving the world, etc. however, i will not go on and on about all of these aforementioned web gems, because you'll wind up falling asleep (if you haven't already).

let's talk about tumblr. ohhh tumblr. say what you want, but that bitch rules. it's like a feast for the eyes and ears. all awesome images, cupcakes, beer, glitter, dresses, and pizza. i get inspired by the melange of things posted there on a regular basis. it's also safe to say that i prefer it over social networking sites. i'd rather get stoked about ideas, and images than lurk someone or write on their wall. ha ha i don't know?

some of my most favorite tumblelogs (in no particular order, doy) would include:

youcankeepthechange

dogganghappened

sparkleneelysparkle

srisiris

radwolf

meganmcisaac

joncarling

coreena

rickkanelives

a straight up cornucopia of magnificence right there. all of these people infuse me with wonder and awe, even if i don't know some of them in real life, or whatever.

ha ha so i try to make a blog posting about the raddest sites ever, and it becomes a love letter to tumblr? of course it does.

fidelity.

2009-11-15T23:00:00.004-05:00

i've been cheating on this blog with that little tumblr minx for way too long. flaking out and stuff :( i'll be back to posting some super fun jazz soon, though. i've got so much to tell you. also, i sound like a broken record. sorry about that :)

a word of advice.

2009-11-15T22:57:00.002-05:00

do not watch this when you are trying to wind down for the night.

MAGIC.

it's magic part i.

2009-10-19T20:01:00.011-04:00

ok. so i'm pretty much treating this thing like one of the many abandoned journals of my youth. you know what i'm talking about...the fancy leather bound one that you buy at borders, that you write like one entry in. or the 99 cent marble notebook that you intend on littering with collage magic, and it JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN. no mas! i'm going to get off my ass, and uhhh get back on my ass? ha ha something like that.

the internet is tricky, being productive (on the internet, and otherwise) is trickier. talking in circles yay! what i'm trying to say is that is that i am once again up and at 'em on the productivity tip. new home, job hunting, life changing, creating things, bright eyed and busy tailed, etc.

so yeah, expect to see more of me on here.

p.s. if the internet were a video game this guy would surely be one of it's bosses.

i can't front; dude's songs are kinda catchy and memorable :( also, much like that "lotion" video, i like pretending that he's every creepy guy that i've ever known :)

i'm not mad.

2009-08-20T18:45:00.007-04:00

whoa! so it turns out that hard candy will be joining forces with walmart. the makeup/nail polish junkie in me (i have three traincases full of stuff, you guys) is sooo beyond stoked. are you? :)

hmm.

2009-08-14T16:46:00.002-04:00

perhaps this is why i'm excited about getting older?

yup yup.

yay!

2009-08-14T15:16:00.006-04:00

so tomorrow i'm headed to philadelphia to party it up birthday style (see the post below). i'm not usually this stoked about turning another year older, but i guess that i'm ready for the next chapter? like, beyond ready. good things, productive things are happening. 29 will be all mine. ha ha i am lame! but yeah, i finally discovered how to make mixes on youtube so i decided to make a birthday mix for myself, and anyone else that would enjoy listening to it :)

i also had to make another polyvore on the wishlist tip, cuz you know.

Birthday Jamz by theonlyamaris featuring Forever21

uh huh.

oh yeah, it occured to me the other day that a ton of stellar people share the same exact birthday as me (see: madonna, betsey j, bb king, deejay ill P, donovan leitch jr. (mmm), tara mason, and rumer willis). hey guys, hey :) i hope that all leo babies in general are having the best birthdays EVER. this is for you.

love and nonsense (clearly),

amaris

this is why my birthday (well, the night before it) will be awesome.

2009-08-07T01:24:00.005-04:00

ok. it's been settled, i'm going to celebrate my 29th birthday in philly. i like philly, and i imagine that i'll like it even more after next saturday!

first off we have the mad decent block party.

holy shit you guys.

and then there's this hot action...

just now, on twitter, i decided that BYOB can also stand for "bring your own baked goods."

i was kidding(?)

so yeah, if you are in the philadelphia vicinity next saturday by all means come on down.

whinenoceros status.

2009-08-07T00:35:00.004-04:00

that's how it feels sometimes.

anxiety, unanswered texts/emails, my favorite people and their lack of enthusiasm for all things amaris, worrying, my busted paw, feeling like a burden as a result of the aforementioned paw, getting annoyed by myself, pointless whining, nagging neurosis, etc. once again i need cher to come and slap me, while demanding that i "snap out of it." she should also totally lend me one of her fabulous wigs.

i'd like to think that tonight is just a hiccup, and that i will emerge tomorrow morning as fresh as a daisy. a daisy who doesn't give a fuck about that negative shit.

this felt good :)

oh baby?

2009-07-02T20:34:00.003-04:00

CGI artist have gone too far D:

snore.

2009-07-02T02:32:00.003-04:00

i'm half awake, and eons behind on the polyvore train. that's neither here, nor there. i decided that i want to wear patterns, have a crazy cake, wear lots of eye makeup, text people, rock flat shoes, and drink arizona tea(?) on my birthday. it's going to be a party, and i promise that you are invited.

Birthday Wishes by theonlyamaris featuring Lipsy

fun times, huh? :)

nom?

2009-07-01T23:07:00.007-04:00

so i totally bought this book for five bucks at barnes & noble. they've got some awesome ideas in it. also, they don't insinuate that chubbier people, and meat eaters are disgustingly gross devil people...unlike the ladies behind "skinny bitch." in the meantime i seem to have misplaced my copy (see: i lost it in a night club, of all places), but oh well. i'll buy another copy if i could get it for the same price. scout's honor :)

but yeah, i'm still trying to fight the good fight, make healthy choices for my body, be a hotter/better amaris, fitter, happier, more productive, blah blah blah. sucks that i can't exercise my ass off right now, since i'm still rockin' the orthopedic boot. yesterday i found a picture of myself on some nightlife/party website, and i looked like a tan miss piggy, with a side of heaving cleavage. no bueno :(

soooo yeah, back to attempting to whip my ass into shape. hopefully wii boxing, free weights, and some time on the yoga ball will make a dent? i'm also going on the master cleanse again, since i lost a whopping ten lbs the last time. yeah, i know that fasts are bad news, but it kind of felt awesome to get rid of those pesky little toxins. i know my limits :) consider this all part of my positivity mission. i'm almost caught up organizing my life, and this will be a piece of cake. mmm cake. ha ha oh no. i also have pms right now, as well as a nasty cold, soooo cravings are imminent. shit happens.

talking in circles about body image, exercising, and food yay!

wish me luck.

touch sensitive-uh.

2009-06-28T01:21:00.004-04:00

blah blah blah time for one of these. i fear that this thing is becoming like a giant myspace bulletin :(

What was your favorite candy as a kid?
red and green gummy bears.

Whats the best place to order t-shirts online?
there are cool places to procure some hot t-shirt action all over the place. i guess that karmaloop is cool because they sell shirts by wowch?

Have you ever seen the show Dead Like Me?
no.

How many clocks are in your house?
omg way to many.

Has someone ever sexually poured candle wax on you?
no?

Are you scared of Two-Legged Stools?
ha ha ha what? that's a weird question.

If you were asked to name a very common phobia, what would you say?
agoraphobia.

Can you ever be a vegan?
absolutely.

Has someone ever called you peanut?
yep.

What’s the closest pink object in your reach?
a tube of pink lipgloss.

Have you ever taken a shower, naked, with a friend?
no.

Who do you secretly, or openly, want to have sex with?
lol.

Do you have a currently celebrity crush?
sure.

Do you like nicknames that are from your name?
everyone mispronounces all of my names anyway.

Have you ever gotten into a serious bike accident?
no, surprisingly.

Have you, do you/ would you ever eat tofu?
holy shit yes.

What would you say if a Playboy Playmate walked up to you on the street naked?
i would probably laugh?

Where is most of the furniture in your house from?
all over.

When you play The Sims, do you find your self overly-decorative?
i dont play the sims.

Have you ever washed someones car to get money?
nope.

Whats a question you always wanted to see on a survey but never did?
ha ha i haven't really thought about it.

Have you ever walked in the middle of the street just to piss off people?
noooo.

Were you ever drug tested, if so, what were your results?
yes, and i was c-c-clean.

Have you ever been to a funeral?
yes.

Does your grandma know how to party?
def.

Have you ever been to Villa Roma?
no.

What do you do when someone jokingly slaps your ass?
enjoy it?

Is there a street name that you absolutely love?
bixley heath, y'all. lynbrook, long island 4 lyfe.

Has someone ever written a song about you?
an impromptu one :)

What kind of computer are you taking this survey on?
a PC.

Have you ever seen the Geek Squad car in person?
uh huh.

Have you ever taken a quiz to see how scene you are?
no i have not.

Have you ever shaved your head?
no.

Ever throw something at a fan and laughed as it flew across the room?
no, but i like talking into fans. that's HILARIOUS.

Are you Jewish?
no.

Have you ever dated someone that played drums?
ha ha i don't think so?

Would you rather use a professional camera or a digital camera?
hmmm a professional one.

Do you steal iPods from people on the bus/train?
no, but some girl GAVE me an ipod at a dance party in brooklyn.

Do you currently have have bruises on your body?
no, just mosquito bites.

Have you ever seen someone get beat up, and did something about it?
i yelled. it's scary when i yell.

Have you ever watched Queer Duck?
queer duck?! no, but i'm pretty sure that i need to!

What’s a movie that you haven’t watched in years?
the fifth element.

Have you ever eaten something you weren’t supposed to?
um yeah sure.

Have you ever had the urge to chew on a battery?
yuck.

Have you ever made plans but then decided to just sit in the house?
oh yes.

Did you have anything to drink today?
of course.

Have you ever met a really skinny boy who wished he was skinnier?
nope.

Is there an air conditioner in the room you are currently in?
yes, but it's not cold enough.

How often do you cook?
quite often.

When was the last time you cut your toenails?
a couple days ago.

Why do the majority of teens think that fake eating disorders are cool?
i don't know? if they do that's sad ha ha.

Last movie you saw:
"do you like hitchcock?" by dario argento.

First decade you remember:
80's.

Last drink you drank?
tap water.

made of awesome part II

2009-06-25T00:40:00.008-04:00

i love my pal naimah. i also love the art that she makes. girl's an ace when it comes to painting super fun things on fabric! see?

lucky for us she will be selling her wares at the philadelphia independent craft market. this is going to epic, you guys. magnificent crafts, bands, free BEER?! why wouldn't you go? i'm so there...if i can find a place to crash ha ha. seriously thinking about signing up for couchsurfing.com.

if you can't make it to the craft market (sunday sunday sunday!), take a gander at naimah's line (d. mae!) here, and drop her line :)

sooo, see you on sunday?

being literal rules!

2009-06-02T20:19:00.005-04:00

ha ha i'm so sure that i'm probably super late with this internet fad, but oh well :)

"spin around! ninjas!"

this video made me die, you guys. DIE.

p.s. new podcast. new home for the aforementioned podcast. back to basics (see: minimal sound effects) on this one, yo. get some :)

http://freeamaris.podomatic.com/

blah blah survey blah

2009-05-27T23:24:00.004-04:00

once again i've failed at updating this thing. blame foot surgery. blame tumblr. blame weekends full of free food and booze. blame my laziness, duh :)

for now here's a survey. this blog is like a myspace bulletin.

it's the final countdown!

10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now…

1. you infuse me with wonder and awe.
2. your morality was a surprising disappointment.
3. teleporter.
4. i don't hate you. shit, i don't even KNOW you. all the same, i think that your "playful" desperation is pretty gross. that's enough, yo.
5. i'll make you so proud...you just don't know it yet.
6. you set the standard for A+ human beings. thank you.
7. i've been missing your friendship a lot for the past year. i've got a gut feeling that you just don't care about me anymore, so i've stopped trying.
8. if we put our brains together it would be all kinds of amazing. let's make lots of money...like that pet shop boys song.
9. i'll love you forever, and you are well aware of this.
10. i think that you're the best dressed person i've ever seen. i'd like to either a. raid your closet, or b. have you as my personal shopper.

9 things people may not know about you

1. i listen to the same music all of the time. it even annoys me.
2. i kind of love being an amazon woman with ginormous circus boobs.
3. my right foot is smaller than my left one.
4. i have a lot of trouble putting my ideas into fruition.
5. i'm a hopeless pack rat.
6. i want a glass of wine right now.
7. my right eybrow is thinner than my left eyebrow. this is because i have a scar there that won't allow my hair to grow. said scar came from that time i threw a guitar in the air and tried to catch it. i was three.
8. i used to go to the local water park in the summer for the sole purpose of screaming at the top of my lungs in public. no one judges you when you're on some crazy water slide called "the ANNIHILATOR."
9. i try to see the good in everything. sometimes it works, sometimes it bites me in the ass.

8 ways to win my heart

1. laughter.
2. awkward silences that make me blush.
3. good iced tea.
4. respect.
5. understanding.
6. unconditional caring.
7. craaaaazy chemistry.
8. pad thai.

7 things that cross your mind a lot

1. healing.
2. my favorite people.
3. ideas for new projects.
4. the future.
5. love.
6. music.
7. good iced tea.

6 things you do before you fall asleep

1. read.
2. medicate myself.
3. wash my face.
4. brush my teeth.
5. mind explosion.
6. meditate.

5 things you notice in the opposite sex

1. hands.
2. eyes.
3. mouth.
4. brain.
5. voice.

4 things you wish you never did

1. car accident, duh.
2. use the internet.
3. worry.
4. waste my time regretting things.

3 songs to describe your life

1. when i grow up - fever ray
2. epitaph for my heart - the magnetic fields
3. fireworks - animal collective

2 things you want to do before you die

1. go on amazing adventures.
2. reach my full potential.

1 confession…

sometimes i wish that i could be heartless, but i know that will never happen. oh well.

just because i have to post this everywhere.

2009-04-20T17:01:00.001-04:00

just so you know.

2009-04-20T16:01:00.006-04:00

oh hey. whoa i totally neglect this blog; blame tumblr. ha ha i love that site. i'd invade that site's personal space if it were a human, you know. wink wink.

ok so things have changed since my last post. i've put my job hunt on hold for the time being as i'm having corrective surgery on my right foot tomorrow. ha ha surprise! as you may or may not know i had a bad car accident about a year and change ago. reconstructive surgeries, hospital stays, and physical therapy ensued. everything has healed apart from my darn right heel. one day when i was upset and discouraged i said, "HEEL?! it certainly doesn't live up to it's name." that's a pretty awful joke. the pun never stops around these parts. but yeah, my poor right foot is crooked, and ridden with arthritis and pain. i am 28, and there is no reason for me to have arthritis yet. tomorrow i am having ankle fusion surgery. i won't explain anymore, because i don't want to psyche myself out LOL :(

needless to say, i am scared shitless you guys. ha ha! is shitless one word? i don't know? anyway, this is for the best. i'm going to be as good as new :)

i love each and every one of you. did you know that? i'm sappier than a maple tree, y'all.

p.s. here's the foot in question. feels like you know me a little better, huh?

B. E. AGRESSIVE!

2009-03-18T01:44:00.007-04:00

what's the best nation? procrastination!

no, not really ha ha. but it is something i do quite often. i am not proud :( i even procrastinate when it comes to fun things. wtf. it's my least favorite habit, bar none.

these days i've been job hunting, apartment/roommate hunting, creating, life organizing, and attempting to lead a healthier lifestyle (see: eating better, working out). i've made strides, albeit little, passive ones. it kind of stinks, dudes. like, i want to be wildly ambitious, i want my motivation to last more than a day, i want to be awesome. i need a cheerleader, a guru, and a drill sergeant all at once. i know i can do this. i've done it before :)

i always laugh and/or cringe when people say things like: "today is the first day of the rest of my life!", but tomorrow i will be ALL OVER that action. seriously, gtfo procrastination. i'm over that wishy-washy balderdash. wish me luck!

looking like a keane painting rocks.

2009-03-06T17:11:00.012-05:00

i have big eyes.

it's is not a new development, but i am often reminded of just how ginormous they are. i also have big boobs, but that's not what i'm getting at here. heh as usual i don't quite know what i'm getting at? i like my eyes. some have said that they are my best feature. that rules. i guess that some people like big eyes?

my self esteem is better than it's ever been. ha ha seeing as how i actually have self esteem these days. so yeah, i've decided that i would celebrate my favorite features by haphazardly writing about them, while subsequently posting pictures of other girls who have similar attributes. fortunately this will only happen on occasion :)

and now, bring on the eye balls! uh that sounded a lot worse than i wanted it too :(

masha tylna.

oh magibon lol.

blythe, duh.

any big eyed beauties that you can think of?

theatre of the MIND.

2009-03-06T14:19:00.009-05:00

for the past few weeks or so my dreams have been drizzled in wacky sauce. my dreams are usually pretty normal and mundane. like, i get them mixed up with real life all of the time. lately it's been, um, different. dude, i couldn't make this up if i tried. instead of trying to explain these sleepy time adventures, i will indulge you with a taste. an amuse bouche of amaris' resting brain. ha ha ew that sounds gross! but yeah, some standout bits include:

* the ocean at night with actual stars in the water. it was beautiful.

* consoling a crying heath ledger by talking to him about ponds cold cream.

* having my personal space invaded by jude law.

* arguing with my boyfriend about porn. explaining to him that alt porn is better via an elaborate slide show.

* hanging from ceiling rafters with my friends in order to avoid being killed by jason. said ceiling rafters eventually turned into seats at a quiz show. jason was the host.

* running into the fat jew at cinnabon in the mall. he was really cool, and explained to me that he only peddles gooey cinnamon goodness for fun.

* turning into a big nosed teenage boy who battles laser wielding dinosaurs in the girl's bathroom.

yep, that's the kind of stuff i dream about. scout's honor.

my mom has one of those dream encyclopedias, and i really should consider giving it a look. or maybe i should see a psychic. i don't know?

my butt my butt my butt.

2009-03-02T13:54:00.001-05:00

oh youtube, i will never stop loving you...unless vimeo wins me over.

l'eggs.

2009-02-27T00:29:00.005-05:00

this is a post about my legs. i've been neglecting this blog as of late (blame my tumblr, yo). i've also been neglecting my legs. last year my right leg got hella skinny from being wrapped up in a cast for months, it was scary. it's back to it's normal size, but it could use some toning. ha ha it's just like my left leg now!

but yeah, legs. i mostly use a picture of my legs as the default photo on my myspace. you see, i'm job hunting and i don't want to be that accessible to prospective employers. not to mention my profile is, like, totally private. i don't have anything to hide of course, but blah blah blah etc. for a while the aforementioned profile was not private, and i had one of those anonymous ~*ultra mega secret box*~ apps. one person insulted me in broken enlish, questioning my creativity. one person said "hotty." and then came the leg comments. "the things i would do to those legs" and "u got nasty fat legs" were my favorite. ha ha pretty sure i know who the "nasty fat leg" comment came from :) people are so weird. i deleted the creepy ~*ultra mega secret box*~ app, and the comments stopped...until recently. just the other day i got an A+ friend request. it speaks for itself.

yeeeaaah. wtf.

don't know quite what i was getting at here, but i sure said "legs" A LOT.

made of awesome part I

2009-02-19T14:25:00.010-05:00

my friend chris stanton is a super duper artist, and a top notch dude. one might even say that he is made of awesome. his stuff is all kinds of whimsical and fun, but also touching and nostalgic. never stop making art, chris :)

he even drew yours truly.

ha ha.

check him out, and say hi!

tumblrs, rhinovirus hate, and magic.

2009-02-19T02:21:00.004-05:00

hey. so i've got the only cold right now. i, like, took some zicam and it made me worse :( i sound like kathleen turner. send me vicks, fleece, soup, and more orange juice, please.

in other news, i got myself a tumblr. i rather like it.

i also have a joint tumblr with the lovely naimah. we're a lot of fun.

oh yeah, the photos link you directly to the sites, jsyk :)

insomniahhh.

2009-02-19T02:21:00.002-05:00

i'm sick. i have a cold, and i should be asleep or drinking organge juice. this is besides the point.

today the lovely lauren flax pointed this gem out on the facebook.

oh my effing god, that is the most amazing sleeping bag i've seen in my LIFE! ha ha whoa XD

better than butter.

2009-02-16T12:46:00.005-05:00

mmm butter.

Free Amaris PSA from Amaris Gomez on Vimeo.

new podcast, bb's. be sure to check it out :)

http://freeamaris.mypodcast.com/

http://freeamaris.mypodcast.com/

http://freeamaris.mypodcast.com/

to all of my dancing animals in love,

2009-02-14T23:24:00.007-05:00

happy valentines day!

love you, mean it.

p.s. i totally got a bonsai plant for valentines day, and i named it salad fingers :)

my favorite meal.

2009-02-11T15:50:00.003-05:00

omg evil prom!

2009-02-07T21:30:00.005-05:00

oh yes, another missbehave party :)

i want to go, but of course a place to crash is an issue ha ha.

ps i'm watching "chicago" and it's awesome, of course.

.

2009-02-07T21:14:00.007-05:00

got some very, very sad news today that i'd rather not get into.

this video made me smile, though.

as did no-good the dancing donkey :)

amazing.

everyday is like sunday.

2009-01-31T20:19:00.009-05:00

so tomorrow is the super bowl. i guess that i am rooting for the pittsburgh steelers, as i am a pennsylvanian? anyway, watching sports on tv has never been my thing. all the same, i'm super cool with live sporting events. beer, yelling, junk food (mmm), and excitement yay! actually, lots of beer, yelling, junk food and excitement can ensue whilst watching the tv i guess? ah talking in circles.

well, what i'm trying to get at is the fact that i'm pretty much only stoked on the super bowl because beer and hoagies that are too big to fit in my mouth are involved in said event. the super bowl ain't got nothing on the puppy bowl. ha ha ha. i've watched the puppy bowl for two years in a row now, and it really seems to annoy people. eventually the annoyed people wind up laughing. i mean, who doesn't love puppies? oh, and we musn't forget about the kitty half time. something for everybody. this is going to be epic.

see?!

this wilderness up in my head.

2009-01-26T12:12:00.004-05:00

do your self a favor and pick up "Merriweather Post Pavilion" by Animal Collective. it's omg amazing.

to say that they are my favorite band would be an understatement. ha ha see? :)

p.s. i'm seeing them in concert this may. oh yesss.

Dear Mr. Sebastian Errazuriz,

2009-01-25T00:13:00.009-05:00

you, sir, are all kinds of awesome. ALL KINDS.

teddy bear coats and belt buckle belts?! oh yes.

also, i think that this picture of the man in question is good fun :)

want more? lookie dookie chief.

McQueen for Target? Hello Kitty for M.A.C.?!

2009-01-24T15:56:00.013-05:00

i'm into it. not gonna lie.

sooo dope.

i'm also all about this dress by Thakoon. GO international FTW!

and then there's hello kitty for m.a.c. oh yes.

x-posted EVERYWHERE, of course.

2009-01-23T19:38:00.007-05:00

ahh less than stellar day, dudes. sometimes i just have to tell myself, "chin up buckaroo!" ha ha or something along those lines.

just to let you know, there are super exciting things on the way (blogs, blog collabos, a new flickr account, more blogs, art, iced tea rhapsodizing, etc.) i promise. pinkie swear!

for now here are pictures of me and some creepy gold leggings. i did not buy said leggings.

love you mean it.

ps if you know get the whole "x-posted" thing you win!

happy tears.

2009-01-19T22:05:00.002-05:00

yep.

p.s. yes we certainly did.

why is this funny?

2008-12-29T13:31:00.007-05:00

ha!

wow, get a life amaris XD

two facts:

1. yesterday i touched a shamwow, they feel like felt. lol.

2. right now i'm packing for a roadtrip and listening to the freak folk station on last fm. it's pretty awesome :)

ETA:

slap chop, son, SLAP CHOP.

dead,

amaris

help wanted!

2008-12-21T16:29:00.003-05:00

who wants to be in an army of lovers cover band with me??

one year.

2008-12-20T11:47:00.002-05:00

ha ha i totally posted this blog on myspace, but i felt compelled to share it with everybody. here we go...

ok. sooo i was in a nasty (not so) little car accident one year ago today. said accident left me with a fractured left knee cap, torn tendons in my right hand, and a completely crushed right heel. after many months, two reconstructive surgeries, casts, orthopedic braces, and heaps of physical therapy i am almost normal :) my right foot (the one with the busted heel) is still kind of messed up. like, i can't run, stand for long periods of time, or walk on uneven terrain (damaged proprioceptors, haayy). however, i am satisfied in knowing that i will be able to do all of these again at some point!

but yeah, positivity and a sense of humor totally kept my chin up this year. TOTALLY. and my loved ones...oh my loved ones. the ones that kept me smiling. they know who they are, and they know that i love them with every fiber of my being. thank you thank you thank you for being strong and not giving up on me. ya'll are my rushmore.

ah ha ha ha crying.

ah ha ha ha poor sentence structure while crying :)

i love each and every one of you and i mean that. i'm grateful that i'm here, and i'm grateful that remarkable people like you exist.

<3 x 10000000000000000

and another one, and another one.

2008-12-18T10:31:00.004-05:00

this is tonight, and i think that i might actually go this time.

join me, yeah?

totally.

2008-12-12T11:31:00.014-05:00

i just realized that i am total khloe amongst women. lol oh god that sounded dumb. but yeah, i'm like the token amazon woman. all towering height, boobs, hips, and legs (god didn't bless me with an ass, oh wellz). it's not a bad thing. ha ha a friend of mine said that he prefers the term "rubenesque" ah ha ha ha!

i like me, i'm totally cool with me. all the same (and as i've mentioned in this blog) i would like to improve myself. i'm trying to lead an active lifestyle (wean myself away from the dvr and all of it's "twin peaks" reruns) and eat things that aren't terribly bad for me (wean myself away from sweets, bread and cheese. mmmm cheese.) i've even considered going raw, which is all kinds of exciting to me!

right now i'm in the throes of december's edition of the pms and i'm not even craving anything crazy, which is weird. ha ha if anything i'm craving beer. yeah.

ah so at any given point, regardless of how chubby i am, i'd like to think that i'm good at working with what i've got. with that being said, my goal is simply to be healthier and look rad in an outfit like this, or anthing by harriet's alter ego.

no kidding :)

p.s. this post is dedicated to betty page. may she rest in peace.

tubular crin!

2008-12-12T11:03:00.008-05:00

that's what some of the ravers wear in their hair. yep.

said tubular crin is otherwise known as "cyberlox" or something crazy like that. i was totally hating on the 'crin, until i saw pictures of a pretty girl wearing them (seen above). you know, i even considered being a raver for halloween because i LOVE putting ridiculous shit in my hair. instead i opted on being medusa.

but yeah, ravers. for some reason ravers insist on dressing like cats? i noticed this when the boy and i went to a dance party party in philly. i remember drunkenly saying that the cats must be PISSED at all of these candy kids. i mean, i saw a guy wearing a tail. c'mon now.

ha ha ha ugh XD

apart from the cats i'm pre-tty sure that the babies are extra pissed off at these people for their silly use of the pacifier.

=

see?!

don't know quite what i was getting at here, but i think that i made my point :)

xoxo

he sees you when you're sleeping.

2008-12-09T17:55:00.006-05:00

dude, those palm phone "claus" commercials freak me out. perhaps because he actually reminds me of some guys that i've met? ha ha yikes!

oh, and check out dj claus.

ooooooh! look at his face.

what kind of music do you think he spins?

weird.

2008-12-07T23:09:00.008-05:00

=

O_o

i know that most people tend to feel depressed and like shit on sundays, but for some reason i've been super blissful today? like, my endorphins are going NUTS. so nuts that my heart started palpitating. oh happy anxiety :) i keep laughing too, it's pretty awesome. not like i'm usually a miserable mabel or anything, but feeling this happy for no particular reason is a smidge foreign to me. ha ha just a little. can't complain, though. heh, maybe if i'm lucky enough that inspiration that i've been looking for will bite me in the ass. cool!

p.s. new animal collective next month. get stoked, i'm already there!

p.p.s. when i think of the twilight zone i always think of this:

:)

bring it on winter?

2008-12-07T11:54:00.005-05:00

ok. so remember the snuggie? come to find out that the snuggie has some competition in the "creepy blanket/robes that make you look like you're in a cult" department. meet the slanket...

yeah.

decemeber's here and i am job/apartment hunting like a fiend at this point. got a couple good leads, so we shall see.

y/y?

2008-12-05T20:17:00.006-05:00

i feel no good terrible AWFUL for saying this, but carla from top chef nyc totally reminds me of that meat head alien dude from that one 80's movie. whoa, run-on sentence. i must be excited.

see?!

ha ha, oh yeah. someone else feels similarly.

cherries, britney, and stuff that's not about you, obvi.

2008-12-05T19:12:00.006-05:00

sooo i'm eating cherries and watching the britney documentary. it's actually not half bad? dunno. but yeah, i'm sitting here and i got to thinking...i got to thinking that my favorite people are actually really really bad at answering emails. like, it's uncanny. maybe i have a nasty little habit of writing/saying too much? that could be it. maybe they're busy? ha ha maaayyybe i should turn the neuroticism down a notch? ;)

yep.

ahh i love cherries. and guess what? i love my favorite people even more. ha ha it happens. right now "waiting to exhale" is on so might have to watch it.

i want this on dvd.

2008-12-05T18:38:00.000-05:00

no seriously.

missbehave done it again.

2008-12-04T10:33:00.003-05:00

sigh. another party that i'll have to miss :(

ha ha stinks how these things always happen when i'm broke. you should totally go and tell me all about it. i love Missbehave 4 lyfe <3 oh, and those shoes are adorable! want.

yay!

2008-12-03T19:33:00.003-05:00

another podcast is here. a yummy mix of self depreciation, randomness, and a chock full o' laughs? comin' right up!

boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

2008-11-24T15:06:00.006-05:00

today (for reasons i won't even bother getting into) had the potential to be mildly shitty. all the same, i put the kibosh on being upset, drank some coffee, and smiled. kinda wish that said coffee were an iced caramel macchiato, but whatever.

yum.

taking the higher road rocks. right now i'm about to embark on a clutter organizing mission. organized space = organized brain. yay! so stoked. ha ha i've been thinking about getting a very small tattoo that says something like "STFU" for those glum times, you know? i imagine that i'll think of something better.

um yeah, this song IS me. ha ha every song is me, but i'm not kidding when i say it.

free amaris, chubbiess, friday, etc.

2008-11-21T15:31:00.007-05:00

i have a podcast now. it's called Free Amaris!! and you should totally check it out. ha ha upon listening to it i've discovered that i a. have a slight lisp, b. sound like a nutcase, aaand c. like to talk a lot. oh wait, i've always talked a lot. even in great moments of tenderness i've been told that i talk a lot. lol ~*great moments of tenderness*~. oh amaris.

i recorded a video blog too, but i'm going to put the kibosh on the vlogging for now. i'd like to get rid of some excess chub first. i was good this week, but i could've been better. quality workouts are hard to come by when you're working with a busted paw. if i could afford a gym membership i'd be tearing shit up in pilates, spinning class, and water aerobics. kind of obsessed with water aerobics. but yeah, no gyms for me, i'm too broke blah blah blah. any suggestions for some low impact fat blasting? also, my diet's going okay but much like my exercise it could be better. i needs more fruits and veggies in my life. or perhaps some kind of detoxifying cleansing, raw foods diet? yeeeaaah. ha ha i say this now, but thanksgiving day is coming. oh boy.

well, it's friday and i'm off to nyc for this month's Dub War. you should come too! there are subwoofers in the floor! BOOM.

wow. just wow.

2008-11-18T20:37:00.014-05:00

ok, so this will be the last pms related post for a while. at least until next month, obvi. but yeah...

ha ha ha ha like i would even *need* that!?

i remember in the 90's there was a number called 'dial an insult.' the number was 1-900-INSULT (i know, i'm missing a digit blah blah), or something. like, you would call it and the voice on the other line would insult you. great.

i love that there's a clip of the insult line's ad on youtube. LOVE! this is taking me back to valley stream, ny circa 1991. coke bottle glasses, z cavaricci shorts, floral bodysuits, training bras, and yes pms :)

on a side note, z cavaricci still has a website up and running? whaaaat?

well at least their models are pretty? i'm so confused.

thursday night.

2008-11-18T19:07:00.002-05:00

i can't go, but you totally should!

aw shucks, i always miss the good stuff :( i love Missbehave mag and their awesome blog to bits. BITS i tell ya!!

bwahahaha!

2008-11-18T13:33:00.003-05:00

babies on the martha stewart show.

babies dressed like thanksgiving dinner on the martha stewart show.

um what?

oh hai new theme song.

2008-11-17T18:55:00.005-05:00

i am so sure that it's 10 years of lame to be posting song lyrics all up in your livejournal, let alone your BLOG. ha ha watch me care ;)

"negative thinking" by THE DEATH SET

If I felt cynicism, I'd wrap it in a blanket of discontentment, Fuck that!,
I feel better knowing that I decided not to,
When you were looking 'round, you veered to the right,
Did you notice that?
And I feel better knowing that I decided not to.

In hindsight, I don't want to be like the people I've liked.

ha ha yay!

aaaand in other news, i'm made my first podcast the other night. it's fun.

om nom nom.

2008-11-17T18:31:00.010-05:00

yesterday ben and i went to Hershey's Chocolate World.

it was like "it's a small world", meets food porn, meets a cheery, informative tour on how chocolate's made. yay! :) when they showed the chocolate in it's liquid form just dripping i was getting a little excited, not gonna lie. chocolate usually doesn't do it for me, but it did this time. omg did it ever. oh, i should mention that i'm still in full blown pms mode, sooo yeah.

once your done with the whole (literal) song and dance that is the Hershey's Chocolate world animatronic tour of awesomeness you wind up smack dab in the gift shop.

shit looked rad, but we made a bee line to the food/snack area of course. i treated the boy and myself to some hershey's frozen cocoa, and it was omg amazing. like a frozen chocolate party in my mouth. we also split a reeses brownie. everything was beyond delicious. hershey's don't mess. also, it was cute when i asked ben if we were on a date.

all the same, my stomach felt HORRIBLE later on. i guess that frozen hot cocoa is something not to be messed with? the hot chocolate gods were not amused, and neither was my belly. i was, once again, promising myself that i'd go macrobiotic from now on. ah ha ha.

but yeah, if you're ever in the south central PA area, and are feeling the symptoms of pms come to Chocolate World! i could never make a habit out of this, as i'd wind up looking like one of the animatronic cows that were carrying on about milk and chocolate. LOL.

roar.

2008-11-11T23:38:00.007-05:00

okay. my cheeks keep turning red, i'm sleepier than usual, my belly is slightly distended, and i am craving certain foods (in particular: homemade iced tea, and cheeseburger spring rolls).

mmmmmmm.

but yeah, the aforementioned symptoms can only mean that pms is on it's way. ha ha oh boy. i'm only bringing this up because last month EVERYTHING in the amaris galaxy seemed to go wrong during that time of the month. long story short: shit was not working, undesirable circumstances ensued, and i cried. yep, it sucked :) negativity is not going to take me alive this time around.

so i've been doing good with my mission of positivity (except for that time i thought that my boyfriend was copping an attitude), and i intend to keep things totally awesome. still don't know quite what i'm getting at with this post? i guess that it's kind of a reminder. a "don't freak out because your hormones are going to go crazy" reminder.

omfg.

2008-11-11T23:09:00.005-05:00

um why was i not aware of this?!

like, i just happened upon the premier on lifetime, and holy smokes was i stoked :) yay makeup artistry!

so yeah, every tuesday night at 10:00pm on lifetime tune in for your weekly dose of "blush."

omg.

2008-11-09T09:42:00.001-05:00

i dare you to watch this without smiling, or at least feeling nostalgic.

i want...i mean remember all of these!

cosmic.

2008-11-07T01:06:00.005-05:00

i'm beginning to think that i have insomnia. it's like 1 a.m. and i'm wide awake and bored. shit, i even signed on to aim. oh wait, i've been known to do that from time to time anyway. but yeah, i found this weird online survey about dreams. nice change of pace. my dreams are always super duper strange.

ahem.

Do you have the same dreams over and over again?
it's been known to happen.

Have you ever saved someone’s life in a dream?
not that i can remember.

Do some of your dreams come true?
sometimes. it's pretty weird.

Has a dream ever scared you so badly that you couldn’t go back to sleep?
omg yes.

Do you often fly in your dreams?
no, but swimming is sometimes involved.

What about fall?
yes! and then my legs get all restless and nuts and i wake up.

Ever had a dream where you or someone else dies?
only close calls.

What about a natural disaster (tornado, flood, hurricane)?
my dreams are often windy, and sometimes there's rain. but no natural disasters.

Out of all the dreams you remember, which is your favorite?
the one where i was i at a beach at night and there were stars in the water.

Most puzzling?
the one where i wound up hiding in a muddy bush, whispering to a friend.

Funniest?
it escapes me at the moment, BUT i have woken up laughing before. it was awesome :)

Have you ever dreamed that you were lost?
no?

Ever had super abilities (invisibility, super strength)?
not really.

Do you ever dream of dinosaurs?
when i was a kid i used to day dream about dinosaurs. instead of imaginary friends i had imaginary dinosaurs.

Do you ever confuse your dreams with reality?
ALL OF THE TIME. i'm often prone to saying/thinking things like, "did that really just happen?"

Do you ever dream about sex? ha ha ha aw shucks. of course, but my dreams seem to be a lot more sublime than real life.

ha ha lame surveys :)

ah. i'd very much like to have some kind of sleepover party (snuggie party?), so i can hear all about other people's weirdo dreams the next day.

right now i'm going to go continue re-reading "running with scissors." right now i keep listening to this:

this is tomorrow night.

2008-11-05T17:54:00.005-05:00

i totally want to go, but i'm sure that i won't be able to make it. hopefully this stays on exhibit for a while so i can check it out at a more convenient time :)

WestPain and Chief
present

YOU FAT, UGLY BITCH!
an artistic tribute to Cathy

@ BODEGA
1089 Broadway, BKNY

Exhibition Opening Party:
Thursday, Nov.
6th
7pm-11pm

Exhibited artwork by:
Hope Gangloff
Natalie Shook
Robert Thompson
Mike Force
Theo Gonzales
Benny Smalls
and more!

FREE CHAMPAGNE!

ha ha cathy.

a first for everything.

2008-11-05T11:31:00.004-05:00

Subject:

We had to delete one of your photos

Body:
We had to remove an image (or images) from your account because they violated our Terms of Use. Our site is for people as young as 13, so we can't have certain kinds of pics (nude/sexually explicit, violence, material protected by copyright). Find out more about content we don't allow at http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=misc.terms. If you continue to violate our Terms, we may be forced to remove your account.

If you find an image which you feel is in violation of our Terms, please feel free to use the 'report image' link below the image.

Thanks for your understanding.

MySpace Safety & Security

i totally got banned on myspace.

aaaaand in other news, how about our new president?! omg, yes we did! i'm soooo genuinely happy, proud, and full of hope that it's incredible. almost too much to handle. all the same, i kind of wish that folks would stop with the cynicism and naysaying so early on in the game (a little positivity goes a long way, trust me). i ain't mad at you though :) to each their own of course. still, i love you more than anything, you're better than gold, y'all are my Rushmore. all of you :)

old news.

2008-11-03T15:52:00.000-05:00

but it still makes me die.

halloweenie.

2008-10-29T16:14:00.004-04:00

1. Follow my blog with bloglovin´ it's like twitter for blogs.

2. what are you being for halloween? i'm going to be medusa for one of the parties that i'll be attending. this will require adhering toy snakes to hair barrettes. ha ha. still up in the air for the other party. i was thinkin' about maybe going the chongalicious route.

turns out that it's not much different than my usual route? i'll cook up some more ideas, and let you know all about them! :)

JSYK.

2008-10-22T22:52:00.004-04:00

DID YOU KNOW TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY. SEE??

IN OTHER NEWS:

*I'M GOING TO A JOB FAIR TOMORROW, AND BOUGHT FANCY LINEN PAPER FOR THE OCCASION. GOTTA MAKE MY REUME LOOK GOOD, YO.

*MY MISSION OF POSITIVITY IS WORKING OUT, EXCEPT I KINDA DON'T FEEL LIKE MYSELF? MIGHT BE TURNING INTO A ROBOT. WHILE LISTENING TO MY IPOD EARLIER I DIDN'T CRY WHEN I HEARD "KIDS" BY MGMT, AND THAT SHIT ALWAYS GETS ME. JUST SAYIN'.

*THE MISTER IS SPINNING AT LIQUID CHARM IN PHILADELPHIA TOMORROW NIGHT. YOU SHOULD COME DOWN AND DRINK $3 MAGIC HATS WITH ME. I'M KIND OF IN LOVE WITH PHILLY. LIKE, A LOT.

*ALTHOUGH MY NEW STOIC/ROBOT PERSONA ISN'T REALLY INTO EATING I AM CRAVING A CUPCAKE SOMETHING AWFUL RIGHT NOW. A RED VELVET CUPCAKE WITH CREAM CHEESE ICING.

FUCK AH HA HA. CUPCAKES AND TEARS ARE THE ENEMY. SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD BAND NAME TO ME. CUPCAKES AND TEARS. GOSH, TYPING IN ALL CAPS REALLY SUCKS.

sorry about that.

bring it on, autumn!

2008-10-21T19:42:00.002-04:00

um, have you heard about the snuggie yet???

let's all buy one and have snuggie parties and/or start a snuggie cult. i'm only half kidding. i love being warm and cozy.

you'd break your neck to keep your chin up.

2008-10-21T19:09:00.005-04:00

k, so i'm still on my "omg i've got to be positive all of the time!" mission. i'm doing ok. i've lost five lbs, i bought shoes that aren't terribly ugly (slouchy black boots, holler). i'm going to a job fair on thursday night, and am ready to charm the pants off of potential employers. yep, things are looking up. sunny side up.

all the same, i'm pretty sure that i should talk to "someone." someone with a phd, and a comfy couch. seems as though the entire world finds my natural, over emotional state to be annoying. it saddens me to know that folks are not really capable of loving me unconditionally, but whatevs. also, i'm still PMSing pretty darn hard. those closest too me think that i'm a drama queen. last night(while talking about my previous blog entry) i asked my boyfriend if i sound like a psycho jealous girlfriend. he told me that i would if i kept going on about what had me so upset. awesome. i then told him that i felt sabotaged and trapped. he understood. HE UNDERSTOOD! :) that was nice, i love it when people understand.

so yeah, perhaps i need professional help? perhaps i don't? all i know is that it certainly helps to come clean. communication is key, as is understanding. i'm an emo bitch and sometimes i cry. i truly hope that those who love me understand that. i'm trying to be stronger, though. things can only get better. you'll see :)

god, my blog entries have been a ton of fun lately, eh? ha ha wow.

p.s. listen to the new copeland album. omg.

LOL Que part ii a.k.a. a better amaris part iii.

2008-10-19T16:18:00.005-04:00

the other day i said that i am going to boycott sensitivity. i'm overly sensitive, always have been. cry cry whine. i'll probably always be sensitive, but i am going to try my hardest to be a stronger, positivity infused amaris. i hear that it's GREAT on the other side ;)

in other news, i think that i might actually hate social networking sites? well, not HATE...but they are double trouble, man. like, today i went to leave my significant other a lame comment on the facebook. while doing so (and with no lurkery at all) i noticed that he had written on some girl's "wall." oh, but it was not just any girl, it was the girl that proclaimed that she "hearted" him this one time. ha ha oh boy. but yeah, he wanted to know where she's been hiding, to which she replied something about being in an ugly funk, and how he should take her out for drinks. snort. weird thing is that i'm not mad...just extremely disappointed. i have male friends, i talk to said male friends, my male friends are completely awesome. all the same, my male friends do not publicly proclaim that they ~*heart*~ me. i heart my boyfriend...no, fuck that. i LOVE my boyfriend. I DO. he's my favorite, and i'm pretty sure that he knows it. all the same, i may very well be done with these social networking sites from hell.

ahhh sensitivity. i'm pretty sure that i've gotten worse since the accident. it's almost like i have this "omg! i almost died, so be gentle with me everybody!" stigma going on. i miss my friends so much, i wish that i were at cmj week, i trust everyone which tends to bite me in the ass, i am full of love, aaand i'm having a bad case of the PMS ha ha ha.

now i'm listening to The 6ths and depeche mode while totally blissing out. factor in a hot bath and some wine and/or pot into this mix and i'm good to go. come over and watch "skins" with me tonight, ok?

love you, mean it.

um yes.

ew.

2008-10-16T17:15:00.006-04:00

i just realized that as of october 13th i've been on myspace for five years. FIVE YEARS. that's a long time. i now have 2000 and some friends, half of which are bands, etsy shops, filmmakers , etc. it's all good. and the other half would be a melange of delightful human beings from all over the galaxy. yay! but yeah, did you know that i've saved like every single email i've received on the myspace? yep. looking and back and reading some of the old ones is really quite interesting, and very weird. ha ha perhaps i should publish said emails? perhaps not.

if you want to lurk and/or add me please feel free to do so. i trust that (all three) people who read this are not creeps. http://www.myspace.com/theonlyamaris

in other nostalgic news:

long before the internetz (1994, yo) i became mildly obsessed with a song by the electronic group orbital. today i went on youtube and found the video for the aforementioned song. this filled me with every kind of emotion possible. well, not really...like, i wasn't mad or anything ha ha. it was the kind of moment when your heart's in your throat, you're smiling, and tears are streaming down your face. a precious moment, obvi. anyway, here's what i'm talking about:

so nice.

btw, the cute girl in the blue shirt is totally alison goldfrapp, who also happens to be gracing this awesome track with her omg amazing pipes. holy shit. ha ha i'm like a walking compliment today :)

hurr.

2008-10-15T23:06:00.006-04:00

because, much like elina on ANTM, my hair is like a small cat living on my head. i, however, was born this way and her's was, um, weaved that way. so yeah, it seems as though my hair is growing bigger, not longer. i guess i'm going to have to go in for a trim, but i'm wondering what to do with the the whole bang situation. i've cut them myself in the past, and sometimes i do an awesome job. other times i wind up looking like i went at it with a nail clipper. at this point the old bangs are constantly poking me in the eyes. i'm not sure if i should cut them, them or grow them out. what would you do?

here's my most favorite set of bangs ever. my bangs (and most, i assume) sometimes cause delightful forehead acne.

aaand here's me with a bit of a forehead. sometimes i'm not a fan of my forehead. god, that sounds so lame.

thoughts?

ha ha speaking of hair, the other day my boyfriend and i went to the art supply store to buy some fake doll hair for his halloween costume. that shit was sooo hard to find, and they only had soul glo curls available for purchase lol. also, my boyfriend made me pay for the bags of hair because he felt weird. i laughed.

whoa.

2008-10-12T20:05:00.001-04:00

is M.I.A. preggers?

ETA: she totally is. good for her :) yeah, off topic but is it wrong that i kind of need the "mexico" bodysuit from her clothing line? exercise incentive haayyy.

mad twitter.

2008-10-06T22:40:00.001-04:00

lol @ the cast of "Mad Men" following me on twitter.

a better amaris part ii.

2008-10-06T20:32:00.005-04:00

well, as you know (from reading the post below, of course) i'm totally stoked on making healthy choices for my body. naturally i have to make sure that my mind is moderately safe and sound as well. i've been in two car accidents over the last twelve months, and they certainly have changed me. like i'm pretty much in love with life, and extremely aware of it's fragility. i am lucky.

all the same, my whole situation has left me a bit on the shell shocked end of the spectrum. i cry more than i used to, and that sucks ha ha ha. it's not that bad, i guess, but my confidence has definitely suffered. late last fall i used to drive to see my dude (he lives two hours away) on a regular basis, hang out with my friends a lot, go to work, smoke cigarettes, and go on mini shopping sprees (hellooo outlet malls). these days i have to take a 4-6 hour ($43.00 one way) bus to see my favorite boy, it feels as though my friends can't be bothered, i receive a tiny amount of money as a result of my disability (busted paw), quit smoking which is actually good apart from the weight gain, and can only really afford sale rack/and or thrift shop items. ha that last one aint too bad either, but you know.

so yeah, the aforementioned setbacks seem to cause occasional onslaughts of depression, helplessness, crying spells, pity parties, etc. but WHHHYYYY? i'm SO much better than all of these things, and it's my hands to improve upon them. what i really need is a fire under my ass. i talk about fires under my ass a lot these days. i want to be a better amaris, and self loathing does not a better amaris make :) i am going to work harder, become more organized (LOL), test the waters of my potential because i'm pretty sure that there is an ocean there. ha ha don't you love it when your blog posts are kind of all over the place? this feels good.

as i've said before...things are going to look up BECAUSE i am going to make them look up. for myself and for the people i love the most, because they mean the entire universe to me.

big plans, wish me luck!

i love you.

a better amaris part i.

2008-10-06T19:49:00.007-04:00

soooo i'm on a diet now. i ate a small bowl of asopao de camarones and drank some black cherry juice tonight. gonna try and eat my veggies, avoid random sweets, and spend at least an hour on the stationary bike from now on. yep. my new diet will also prove to be helpful when i go out to eat with friends, my man, my fammo, etc., as i will be ordering a very small (and therefore inexpensive) amount of food. yeeeaaah, the fact that i've been disabled for almost a year has certainly taken a nasty little toll on my purse.

out of everyone i must say that the two people who take me on yummy food adventures would be my boyfriend and my mother. ha ha for some reason mom likes to take me for random iced lattes and/or ice creams (among other things). my boyfriend (ohhh my boyfriend) and i are, like, ALWAYS out at some random restaurant. the other day he jokingly said that once i'm better and working that i am going to owe him A LOT of dinners. this upset me and made me cry because: a. crying is my numero uno self defense mechanism (lame, huh?), and b. i generally felt bad and devoid of any independence (read: moochiness). after wearing my sunglasses indoors and pouting over beer and salad i got over it. i did, however, make a decision then and there not to go balls out when i go out to eat anymore (does that make sense?). my waist will thank me, and it will work out for all parties involved, trust me :) i just wish certain people knew just how much they mean to me. like, i'm pretty sure that they know but i just want to make sure.

ahhh fires under my ass are kinda awesome. all the same, there will be no ana/mia business here, thank you very much. i'm ultimately doing this to be healthy.

having goals rocks, and exercise is kind of fun in terms of getting my neglected endorphins pumping. yeah!

part ii up next...

ETA: i'm not giving up on beer though ;)

muffin vs cupcake?

2008-10-06T18:41:00.004-04:00

these days everybody's got election day fever, and rightfully so! then there are sites like "Taste Debate 08", in which you can decide between a cupcake and a muffin. um, what? ha ha at least they're available in handy little 100 calorie packs.

but yeah, tomorrow is the last day that you can register to vote, so get on that bb's :)

it's like a big hug for lazy girls everywhere!

2008-09-29T18:29:00.004-04:00

if you're like me and hate painting your own nails (and always manage to nick yours up before even leaving the salon) then this action is for you.

now if i can find a lazy, yet thorough way to deal with taming my hot mess of curls...

haaayy!

2008-09-24T16:02:00.004-04:00

guess what i'm doing next thursday?!

tyra show in nyc baby, oh yeah. lol @ all of the rules and regulations. well, not really. it just sucks for me because sneakers are just about the only shoe that i can wear, and they are not permitted according to the dress code. i'll figure it out, though. hmm...i wonder if they are going to make us take off all of our makeup, wear a bikini, write our weights on our bare bellies, all while making us face our fears. ah ha ha ha.

ETA: my trip to the tyra show is not happening after all :( too short of a notice for all parties involved, i guess. oh well...maybe next time! :) oooh f.y.i. on today's episode of the tyra show there will be a cycle 10 reunion. yay!

grrrly action.

2008-09-20T22:40:00.008-04:00

aint no survey like a girlie survey, right?

ha ha or maybe i just wanted an excuse to show you a ridiculous blingee??

oh well.

57 ~*Girl Confessions*~

1.Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
totally.

2.A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
a short dress that has a poofy skirt would be adorbs.

3. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
i'd probably laugh, but then i'd most likely blush and get all giggly.

4. Group dates or single dates?
single dates are better. for some reason eating mexican food on dates rocks me. nothing says love like burritos, chiles rellenos, and pacifico and/or frozen margaritas.

5.Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
uh huh.

6. Are diamonds a girl's best friend?
not really.

7.Is your hair up or down today?
it's up in a messy pile with bangs.

8. Do you straighten your hair?
lately yeah.

9.Favorite mascara?
great lash, duh.

10.Do you get your nails done?
no, but i suppose that i should?

11. Small or large purses?
LARGE.

12.In your purse, what are your must haves?
wallet, ipod, water bottle, magazine, lip gloss, black eye liner, a mirror.

13.Jeans or sweats?
i like jeans, but right now i'm wearing hospital scrubs. lol so comfy.

14.Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
not anymore. well, door knocker earrings sometimes hurt my ears.

15.Do you text message a lot?
not anymore since my phone died.

16.What would you do if you got pregnant?
have bigger boobs. yikes.

17.What's your favorite color?
teal, orange, black, hot pink.

18.Heels or flats?
orthopedic shoes. seriously.

19.Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
yeah.

20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
psh, of course.

21.Walmart or Target?
Target any day.

22.Do you wear collared shirts?
i have, like, one and it looks pretty crisp.

23.Do you like preppy boys?
no not really.

24.Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
hmm carol's daughter candy paint lip gloss in "bossy" rules my world, as well as any and all lancome juicy tubes.

25.Do you own any big sunglasses?
of course!

26.How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
fifteen minutes to two hours depending on what i'm doing, and where i'm going.

27.Do you like to wear band-aids?
only if i get hurt.

28.Do you like skater boys?
ha ha yes. former skater boys especially ;)

29.Do you often wish there was something you could change?
my busted paw, my belly, and my butt.

30.Gold or silver?
both.

31.Do you like to receive flowers?
it's sweet, but it doesn't happen so often.

32.Do you like surfer boys?
not really.

33.Do you dress up for the holidays?
it's all about the loose dresses during the holidays.

34.Do you like to wear dresses?
yes! i wish that i could wear dresses all of the time.

35.On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
10000000000000 :)

36.In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
no.

37.Would you date a guy shorter than you?
i have in the past.

38.Do you like to hold hands?
oh yes.

39.What is the youngest you would date?
i don't date.

40.What is the oldest you would date?
i don't date.

41.What do you notice when you first meet a guy?
hands, eyes, hair, mouth.

42.Is it hott when guys sweat?
omg yes!

43.What is the best feature in a guy?
a sense of humor.

44.Do you like making eye contact?
oh yes.

46.Would you kill for chocolate?
uh, no.

47.Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
not all day.

48.On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
9.

49.Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
no, that's what the dvr is for. or televisionwithoutpity.com, obvi.

50.Do you yell a lot?
no, i'm a crier.

51.Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
nope.

52.Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
again, nope.

53.Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
pish posh.

54.What makeup could you not live w/ out?
mascara.

55.Do you fall in love easily?
no, actually.

56.Do you have cramps?
i will in a day or two ha ha!

57.Do you think you have the bestest friend ever?
sure do. hai kristen!

i feel like wearing tulle and eating a cupcake. i'm not even kidding. oh pms.

xo

wanne be on top?

2008-09-10T14:50:00.006-04:00

i can't lie. i love, and have always loved "america's next top model." i'm so sure that my boyfriend and my friends find it totally lame, but i don't care :) i used to live with a girl (hai erin!) who would ONLY watch reality tv, which kind of sucked. said girl did not watch ANTM or project runway, only shitty shows like the bachelor or whatever. reality shows about fashion, makeup, and beauty are always a good time. omg, and apparently there's going to be a makeup artistry based tv show on tlc starring napoleon perdis? hello! that hot action is right up my makeup artist wannabe alley. gosh. in the words of rachel zoe, I DIE.

but yeah, in tonight's episode of ANTM tarina tarantino is going to be making an appearance. soooo excited.

oh hai.

2008-09-10T14:28:00.003-04:00

i haven't updated this thing in a minute, huh? gawd, between physical therapy, and my everyday in's and out's i couldn't really muster up the productivity to write/type/talk in circles about anything. last week was rough. like, "omgz! i'm going to have a breakdown!" rough. between a total mess up with my insurance paperwork, worrying myself silly, wanting to get the heck out of dodge, missing my friends terribly, and the shitty local bus system i was spent. SPENT. then i had an awakening, and decided that if i want something done i have to do it myself (duh amaris). sooo things are looking up, because i am making them look up damn it. ha ha ha.

for some reason this video brightened my day? it's the gift that keeps on giving, yo. i know that it is soooo not cool to laugh at "the silence of the lambs", but i always do :) plus buffalo bill makes me think about this boy i used to talk to. lol he was a creep! i definitely did NOT date him, but all the same my friends were creeped out by him, and did not want me talking to him anymore. like, he was the kind of guy that would ask perverted questions. also, his voice kind of sounded like bufflo bill's? i must have not been much fun to talk to, as i was running for saint at the time. ah ha ha ha. but yeah, this video rules!

as close as possible without threatening your seed.

2008-08-14T18:31:00.003-04:00

um, this is gonna be good. no, this gonna be omfg amazing.

also, i just had me some iced tea and spinach dal with some whole wheat naan. the only thing missing was a samosa, a friend, and some kingfisher to drink with said friend afterwards. kinda sucks that summer's winding down, yeah?

xx

why do i still have a livejournal?

2008-08-13T00:40:00.005-04:00

because SEXY PIKACHU is on my friend's list.

i mean really.

also, there are some awesome communities (see efagz and ONTD in my links) up in there. not mention, some grade A choice human beings.

and now a little something for the fellas ;)

ps i still have a xanga somewhere. how corny ah ha ha ha.

L.A.M.E.

2008-08-12T21:17:00.006-04:00

k. i promised that i'd tell you secrets today. since i've been napping a lot, and kind of worn out as of late (see: long bus rides, ass kickin' physical therapy, anxiety related dreams) the best i can offer is a survey. shit, i've always dug these things. ha ha soooo livejournal. it's my birthday week, so i totally swear that things will get a bit more interesting :)

{---Basics---}
Name: amaris
Nickname(s): ami
Age: 27
Birthday: 8-16-80
Birthplace: manhasset, long island
Current Location: east stroudsburg/analomink, pennsylvania
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: black
Height: 5'8
Weight: no
Lefty or Righty: righty tighty
Zodiac Sign: leo
What Do You Drive: n/a
Screenname: amidoesnotexist

{---Favorites---}
Color: i wear black a lot, but orange and teal kind of own me
Number: 14
Band: hmm animal collective
Music Genre: anything that takes my breath away...yeah!
TV Show: project runway, yo.
Movie: the neverending story.
Actor: gael garcia bernal, viggo mortensen.
Actress: audrey tatou, samantha morton.
Kind of Movie: oh, you name it.
Cartoon: ren and stimpy, obvi.
Sport: futbol.
Fast Food Restaurant: in and out burger. omg.
Food: sure.
Ice Cream: is going to save the day.
Cereal: gorilla munch. try it!
Candy: jolly ranchers.
Drink: mango iced tea.
Alcoholic Beverage: beer, red wine, girlie drinks with umbrellas, hard stuff...it's all good. lol wino.
Quote: "not the button!" :)

{---Do You---}
Have any siblings: one brother.
Have any pets: donnie and duncan.
Have a job: not at this moment.
Have a cellphone: yes.
Have any special talents or skills: oh several.
Have any fears: a couple.
Have a bedtime: not really.
Sing in the shower: always.
Want to go to college: a better one, yes.
Get along with your parents: yes.
Have any piercings: four.
Have any tattoos: nope.
Swear: uh huh.
Smoke: not since december. yay!
Drink: LOL yes.
Do Drugs: only the ones that are prescribed to me. starscape doesn't count ;)

{---Love & All That Crap---}
Ever been in love: you betcha.
Are you single: nopers.
Are you in a relationship: yes.
Do you have a crush on someone: the entire planet, duh.
Ever been dumped: yes.
Ever dumped someone: yes.
Ever had your heart broken: of course. broken bones hurt more, trust me.

{---This or That---}
Fruit or Vegetable: fruit.
Black or White: buhLACK.
Lights On or Lights Off: i dont care.
TV or Movie: movie.
Car or Truck: i want a neon green vespa.
Cash or Check: cash.
Rock or Rap: dubstep.
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla.
French Toast or French Fries: baked french fries with the skin still on. mmmm.
Strawberries or Blueberries: uh both.
Cookies or Muffins: muffin tops.
Winter Break or Spring Break: either can be a blast.
Hugs or Kisses: both at the same time.

{---Have You Ever---}
Danced in a public place: surely.
Smiled for no reason: all of the time, yo.
Laughed so hard you cried: yes! dude, i've passed out from laughing before.
Talked to someone you don't know: all the time.
Drank alcohol: of course.
Done drugs: you asked me this already.
Partied 'til the sun came up: uh huh.
Gotten a ticket: once for selling cigarettes to some narc minor.
Been arrested: no.
Been convicted of a crime: umm nope
Been in a wreck: yeah.
Been out of the country: yes, but it needs to happen more often.

{---Random & Silly Junk---}
Are you a virgin: LOL.
Ever TP'd someone's house: no.
Ever egged someone's house: no.
How many languages do you speak: two and a half.
Who do you compare yourself to: an overgrown bunny rabbit and/or keane painting?
Ever regret anything: i try not to.
Do you like being tickled: secretly yeah.
What are your goals: be fitter, happier, more productive. HA j/k, but not really. yeah i would also like for my foot heal up 100%. oh, and i'd like to go on more on adventures always and 4-ever.
Are your fingers tired: no.
Are you tired of this survey: yes yes yes.
Are you happy: right now, yep.

lol surveys. um, i somehow acquired a file called "micro mix 17 from norway" by atlas sound. i don't remember downloading said file, soooo if one of you sent it to me please let me know and i will personally give you a piece of birthday cake. shit's gonna be dope.

yeah!

in other news, i'm so going to the silent rave this weekend to dance off the aforementioned birthday cake. i looked at pictures. lots of people had juice at the last one?

also, i am dying to try a miami vice.

rum, strawberry daiquiri, and piña colada? yes please. ha ha easy on the coconut, though.

xo

i've been gone for a minute there.

2008-08-11T20:57:00.005-04:00

yeeeaaah. so today i sat on buses for a combined seven hours all because i didn't feel like catching an earlier, more direct bus. silly amaris. all the same, i got to see thye philadelphia greyhound station. always interesting. tomorrow: physical therapy, and i am totally telling you secrets :) right now it's all about iced tea, and these awesome honey bbq peanuts i copped from the amazing ben.

p.s. miss piggy + peaches = a little slice of awesome.

Fuck the Pain Away sung by Miss Piggyfunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

:)

2008-08-04T21:39:00.002-04:00

um, yay @ seasons one and two of "skins" coming to bbc america.

another ace weekend in new york that i have to tell you all about. i'm getting behind on this aren't i? ;)

ahh the pms is settling in and i want to watch "once" again, eat chocolate crepes, and make some iced tea.

tonight tonight tonight. oh ohhhh.

2008-08-02T12:11:00.003-04:00

i'll be here :)

it's gonna be better than last night's deep fried oreos O_o

rip it up and start again.

2008-07-29T11:13:00.004-04:00

today i look like this.

ha ha total pity pup style, yo :)

all the same, today i feel 100% like this:

uh huh.

...

2008-07-28T20:44:00.005-04:00

the past weekend was super fantastic one, but i'll tell you more about it later. promise.

ok. this whole things is going to sound so so soooo lame, but i feel 100% lucky. you see, today (while on the way back from new york) my bruv and i were rear-ended pretty badly on the interstate. i'll spare you the details, but i was definitely freaked out. like, TOTALLY freaked out. the car we were in is wasted for sure...doors jammed, broken glass, twisted metal, me getting pulled out of the driver side window, etc. thank goodness nobody got hurt, though. i've had my share of nasty car accidents, and i am done thanks. done. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! my brain is a heap of mush right now, and this sounds like some kind of weird livejournal entry?! ha ha ew. but yeah, i got very lucky.

right now i am so in love with every person, place, and thing. this happens from time to time. oops ha ha. my friends, and my favorite people are as good as gold. i am pretty sure that they know who they are :)

i'm going to go hide now. or cry. or drink iced coffee while getting crazy with the dvr. it's a game of "choose your own adventure."

xoxoxo

oic.

2008-07-24T22:32:00.008-04:00

for some reason i brought up patti mayonnaise in an email today. because of this, and because i really enjoy people who look like real life "Doug" characters, i decided to google her.

fun nostalgia ensued until i came upon this gem. um, what? i love urbandictionary.com and all, but that's foul yo. ha ha mostly because i totally hate mayo. HATE. all the same, that site super amusing.

aaand as i typed this Aaliyah came on in my itunes :)